mooncakexxii

2005-02-02T06:06:00.000-08:00

adios to this blog. i'll be using another one.

gusto nyo ng bagong blog na mahahack? click the link.

2005-01-29T22:18:00.000-08:00

displeasing delusion.

the fresh blog entry of this certain girl from i-agatha about kayi got the best of me worse than the way I thought it would. Paranoia had clouted me since the previous evening and perhaps had conveyed it with me as I snoozed and indulged myself into the figments of my imagination. I am perfectly aware that this issue is not that fascinating enough to spawn a load of inquisitive readers, but what the hell. If you do not wish splurge the rest of your ten minutes or so comprehending this crap, feel free to get the hell out of here by closing this window, buzzing off and getting a life. Who needs you here, anyway?

Last night.

The campus soccer field was overly sun-drenched and there was no way that this eminent sport's ardent players in this institution could anymore keep up with its strong heat emission. Here, we find three amateur defense players having an insignificant discussion on the upcoming interschool football league, explicitly kimnar, mariel and dana alonzo. They were all playing for the defense post, and kimnar's got a foot sprained the day ahead of the present owing to the fact that she had been practicing frenziedly for the past few days for this awaited competition. The three were perceptibly getting along perfectly fine; excluding the verity that kimnar has been having this hidden and scrupulous sense of resentment against mariel, who seemed to be the one the head trainer had chosen to be espoused as a goalie since the official one just got a staid head damage. The position assured to the latter was the only one kimnar had ever dreamed of asserting for her own self, but never did she suppose that her confidante (mariel, in this dream) would be the one to rapidly slacken the bond amidst the possibility of having the post and herself (kimnar).

okay. I won't make this flashback overly lengthy. Tinatamad ako.

anyway... out of the envy that got the best of me during this definite nighttime, I murdered mariel and dana (with no apparent reason whatsoever; maybe I was drunk that time) on an open field with a gun or something. I shot mariel on the head with the most number of bullets. Their gory faces haunted me a while ago, at four in the morning. Damn.

I know that the way I told you this didn't make quite a great intuition as much as it did to me on the actual incident. Madami pa kasing nangyari bago ko sila patayin. Basta.

RECAPS.
jan. 22 - star city escapade with siyel, yza, kc, dana, v-ann, kate, mariel and yours truly. Extreme rides galore and "walaan" mania. Totally radical.
jan. 26 - parolee power. practice no-nos. lunch with mendee. tulog maghapon.
jan. 27 - field demonstrations champs. The "center for pop"-thing jaunt. "walaan blues" in the LRT station. the night of the ultimate decision TO RUIN MY LIFE ONCE AND FOR ALL.

(by the way. it has been so long ever since I have produced, out of languor and sham sagacity, a blog post. You think I have missed blogging? You think I have missed those awful hours of doing away well with my English-related proficiencies (if ever I have some) in order to manufacture one good entry? Think on. I did not. As a matter of fact, I have tried with all my power for these past few days to keep myself from making one. Waah. I have not been that productive these past few days.)

I cannot view the friendster webpage here in my laptop. Damn this wretched piece of junk.

kimnar`xxii, signing off.

2005-01-20T03:14:00.000-08:00

neon.

today's recap.

--> finally. my "malaking kaibigan" opened a dimunitive conversation with me this morning during the morning assembly. huwaw.

--> what the hell does "MORK" have to do with rowkee's life? he seems to extend out a smirk every time we mock her about "ryan", "mark" and "mork", all of which she assume us as her brothers. waah. liars go to hell. where is the sassy residing currently? in hell, right?

--> i cannot believe that quasi is slashing her legs because of her "ka-on" and the one i fell in love with for seven seconds. but she is. sigh. who cares? that hunchback never did anything good within her life span, anyway.

--> field demonstration practice. grueling, but gratifying.

--> This is "strike two" for that lame seamstress, Tootsie, who also made our exasperating batch shirts with the misspelled "strength" (otherwise, again, spelled as "STRENGHT") our field demo costumes totally sucked. Mukha daw kaming bulok na ampalaya with the skirt on. The top was satisfactory, but forget about the rest. Dang! I want her to cease to exist right now. Our school should fire her and bury her alive in the eco park.

--> meet markus, yza wutty's portable panda radio.

--> miss adlaon caught jamille and i listening to markus, which would definitely mean that we have just scorned a couple of school rules. here was how she reprimanded us.

MISS A: hoy, ano yang mga nakasabit sa tenga ninyong dalawa?
JAM AND KIM: (quickly removing the headset from markus himself) uhh, headsets lang po!
MISS A: saan nakakabit yan?
JAM AND KIM: (murmurs to themselves) hala! bawal pala ito... lagot na...
MISS A: dali! saan nakasabit yan? saan?
KIM: (lifts markus up without the headset connected to him) dito po sa stuffed toy!
MISS A: wow! (grabs markus and carreses him with gentle fingers) ang cute naman nito! itago ninyo na yan, hah?
JAM AND KIM: opo!

--> I would like to acquaint you once again with our hottest playprod's (without a title) casts. This tale, meanwhile, is a story about illicit affections and sacrifice… of carnage and of resurrection.
angela teenoe. dana oreo's son with kaycee, a poor bass guitar player living in a small flat; deeply in love with siyel and is the best mate of kimnar.
kimnar. teenoe's best bud; dana oreo's son with kate; bequathed with his super rich uncle cholo's grand riches; protects teenoe from his sister, flavie.
flavie. dana oreo and kate's youngest child; dangerously in love with teenoe, who obviously hates her for keeping him from expressing his undying affection for siyel.
siyel. dana oreo's daughter with kate; madly in love with teenoe but won't show it; later, killed by teenoe himself.
kc. siyel's family's gardener; fathered dana oreo with angela teenoe.
dana oreo. kimnar, siyel and flavie's father, (yes! kaycee and dana are both fathers, and yet they had a son! haha.) a bastard and a drunkard; the ultimate blissmaster; tried to corrupt tito cholo's casino filipino and las vegas casinos businesses.
yza. also known as "makling", raised by kimnar, but is the daughter of dana oreo and kaycee.
tito cholo. some other rich guy; dana oreo's brother.
kate. the superior wife of dana oreo; does not want siyel to live with teenoe.

--> hindi ko na nga sila pinapakialaman, nagagalit pa sila sa akin. hindi naman na ako tanga para magpaawa at matakot. wala naman akong ginawa sa kanila. bakit? nung hindi na ba ako comfortable sa kanila, nasaktan ko ba sila? naiinis na ako sa mga pagsusungit nila. sobra na. HINDI AKO TANGA.

sie gab mir ein testi. das dieses der beste tag meines lebens ist.

Aesthete

The ULTIMATE personality test
brought to you by Quizilla

2005-01-19T02:58:00.000-08:00

futility.

happy, dana oreo and to her plushie`xix. the latter stunned oreo once more with her prom queen beauty. *wink*

I inaugurated this day erroneously. It just so happened that the minute I stepped within this campus sodden with the presence of "decadent students", I sensed hastily the sagacity of exasperation.sie musste nicht mich fuhlen aus platz mit meinem nahen freund heraus bilden.. er saugt! dang. warum die holle ist sie, sowieso wutend? ich bin nicht, aber die tatsache, dass sie ist, kann sehr argerlich erhalten. sie fahrt mich verruckt, was die holle ich tun, dann muss? crave fur ihre entschuldigung und senken sie meinen stolz noch einmal?? als ob sie horen wurde...

Xtac's beloved K. Khan doesn't know how to spell words - she doesn't seem to decipher hitherto the stipulation of acing in English, which contrasts bombshell xxviii's belief that taking pride in it, mastering and loving the English lingo is a very insubstantial obligation. Despite her arduous efforts of making her Biology report emerge as ingeniously as it can get within her competence level, the lapses she has made adjacent to the conviction of perfecting the language itself were utterly discernible. She is indeed dim-witted. "Food on consumers?" bleargh.

the normal kids, angela teenoe and yours truly, are truthfully blessed with the endowment of our fine mate siyel for acquainting us with her portable stuffed toy radio, Lalaine. She will always be a treasure. Regardless of her finding it hard to catch up broadcasting signals, that beneficial piece of gold was well loved by the normal kids still. She deprived our conquerable minds of the tedium that certain subjects brought about. Listening to radio songs (Jeepney, Boulevard of Broken Dreams, and some jazzy tunes) while doing notes on Thomas Aquinas and the distinct characteristics laws must encompass? Awesome.

I discern it is undeniably illegal, but teenoe (once again), dana oreo and I have ingested a box of Skittles Bubble Gum while instigating with our biology and internet modules. Dang. Indulge yourselves in these favors in red, green, orange, violet and yellow, and you'll rapidly apprehend that they're so delectable and they invigorate your senses. Every piece of it supplies you with somewhat like a "stress therapy' (if that would make sense) or something. I wonder why it tastes so damn good in english periods though...

This accident-prone me (eh??) have just realized that the impish one (lucy per rowkee) isn't such a fiend. She gave me a more than pleasing grade in geometry. (JOM, as the super friends would spell it) I am not a bad mathematician after all, together with oreo. As one, the "hotshotz" shall ascend from the vestiges of their plentiful failures and succeed (hopefully next year)!

Fortunate was our class when macbeth did not show up in school that dreary afternoon. Being sentient of her idiocy, I reckon she must've have forgotten that she was indebted to go to work as an amateur English teacher that day. She seems to fail to remember almost everything. (she constantly asks for the names of our top one and academic chairperson despite the fact that she had been informed of it millions of times already) Does even forget what color of underwear she wore just this morning or what her address even is? Does she even know her own name? No one knows, and no one cares. I do not care.

Chona In the City!

2005-01-18T05:13:00.000-08:00

the one less soft spoken.

happy birthday, katotong siyel. may bliss be with you this day.

that's it for now. i am super busy.

2005-01-16T23:54:00.000-08:00

resentment and jealousy.

ich weiss nicht, was erhalten in sie und in sie die meisten der zeit, sich beachtet in MEINER anwesenheit GEMINI zu erhalten versuchen sie. dieses ist nicht recht. sie ist alle grube. jetzt gekommen, wie sie sie hinsichtlich des seins IHR possesion behaupten?? leben ihr eigenes leben und lassen die zwei von uns alleine. sie verdienen nicht solches gluck, sie bastard. oh, UNVERSCHAMTER DUMMKOPF, mussen sie mein leben miserabler wie lang bilden? sie sollten verschwinden.

una. spongecola.

muli namang umihip sa akin ang hangin ng pag-iisa
liwanag kang dagling sumilaw sa aking mga mata
linilingon, sinusundan, dumadalas ang minsan
ika'y nariyan, abot tanaw, kahit walang dahilan

maiiwasan ba ang bawat sandaling ika'y laman ng isip ko?
maiiwasan bang ngayo'y lilipas ng hindi kita nasisilayan
nararapat bang pigilan ang damdamin na lalong mahulog sa iyo?

walang maitutulad sa sumpang iyong linikha
putulin man ang tali ay sadyang walang kawala
sa pang-aakit, at di-paglapit
nananalangin, at umaasa

~~happy_xvi, gen.~~

jealousy got the best of me.

2005-01-14T06:03:00.000-08:00

jinxed.

today is the 14th of this protracted month. how long has it been ever since i have made the terrible gaffe of initiating myself to my gemini? three months. how long have i suffered enough in the woe of wishing to see gemini smile back at me? three months. how long have i been sentient of gemini's hidden allure? three months. how long has my mind been engaged into thinking of gemini now and then? three months. i have been wasting my time involving myself into the act of doing everything and anything for gemini. everything and anything. in any case...

HAPPY_xiv, darlin'.

there were myriad signs that foretold me that being fluky on this significant day would be an evident feasibility. let me name a few of them...

1. ms. adlaon wore a green dress along with matching dangling green earrings (which were, in my honest opinion, really cute)
2. ms. martinez also donned a green shirt.
3. ms. tan, ms. bal and ms. bengua showed off green dresses (these faculty members resembled trees and can manufacture a miniature rainforest)
3. ily brought a green bag in school today
4. there was a "14" printed with dried glue on our classroom wall.
5. my dad only has Php 314.00 left of cellular credits. three-hundred fourteen.
6. the curtains in our classroom were green. (actually, it had been hung there on the windows ever since the start of the school year - in green. i just noticed them now.)

these "ciphers" (i'd like to call them that) did brought me good fortune. i got high grades in biology and chemistry. wow. hurray for not resolving for mediocrity.

anyway, i'll just make this, yet again, an another quick entry by itemizing out a few facts out of unbeneficial ennui.

- DEVILS OFTEN OBSCURE THEMSELVES AS PROFICIENT FASHIONISTAS. this is factual in lucy per's case. she slipped on a really fit outfit that revealed the cambers of her cadaver a while ago, and masked its visibility with a GREEN jacket which she only wears outside the classroom. who the hell among her students would want to see her and her queer mien up that platform, discussing the properties of parallelograms?

- DEVILS ARE FOND OF UNCONCIOUSLY MASTURBATING GUYS. lucy per was with this certain guy in white in the canteen a while ago, and she was, perceptibly, (seeing the way that "unconsciously-masturbating-man-in-white" and lucy per herself talk about stuff) flirting with her. damn.

- ROOTBEERS WOULD MAKE THE BEST "COMFORT DRINKS". true. they're addictive and luscious. need i say more?

- ASIAN STUDIES TEACHERS HAVE THIS PASSION FOR DONNING PANTILETTES. cedar tree, according to her, even wears pantilletes beneath her pants and skirts. wow. talk about morality.

-MACBETH IS REALLY STUPID. yesterday, teenoe and i approached her to let her check our english notebooks which she had left unattended among the rest of those craps wrapped in green paper. not even taking a better look at the summaries we meticulously scribbled down, she got a pink crayon, tested "it's credibility" on the beadle's notebook, and just placed a check mark on our notebooks without even reading them. she didn't even notice the stuffs we wrote down such as, "not by the hair of my chinny chin chin" and "hit me baby, one more time". dudes, how long has she been this stupid? she is an idiot. she is a fool. she deserves death.

-BRUSHING TEETH IN SCHOOL IS MORE FUN THAN DOING IT AT HOME. i am completely amenable to this fact. brushing teeth in school with teenoe at least two times a day had been bliss itself. it rocks, especially the part wherein we make parinig at basilisko, saying, "wow! ang sarap mag tooth-brush! fresh breath! `di gaya ng iba dyan!" oh yes. bliss.

-CONVOCATIONS CAN GET REALLY ANNOYING. hmmm. need i say more about this matter?

-PARANOIA SUCKS. yes, it does. and did i mention big time?

i am a failure. they need not rub it in. it's so vexing.

you just wait next year. i'll fight back. magiging honor student ULIT ako.

2005-01-12T04:18:00.000-08:00

resonating requiem.

yesterday, a lot of things had happened. but alas! this miserable fool had failed to memorize them all by heart. all that this mind of mine (which had just strayed into the thought of seeing yet again her gemini smiling back at her) could recall from yesterday's dealings was the split second mariel's car had crashed to some old automobile and the woman who apparently owned it, saying "dalhin na natin ito sa baranggay hall! dali!" while heaving with her pudgy arms our school security guard.

"anong gusto nya, pera?" mariel quipped sharply while holding her wallet which, i doubt, did not even have that much money inside. yeah. she wanted a lot of filthy cash to pay for the patch up her aged, unattractive car. in any case, i do not care about that fat lady. i need not say more about her.

the morning of januayr 12, 2005. i never thought i would utterly amend for all my poignant deficiencies on this sucky, fateful day. ms. adlaon had just notified us of her "too emotional enragement" (if that'd make sense) about the skirmishes happening inside the classroom and fact that all of us distrust each other in a way or another. mahn, she ravaged not just one whole period of biology, but the whole period of the internet subject as well. i tell you, it's so damn annoying, especially when you know that you were SUPPOSED TO take pleasure for one hour in indulging yourself into those cyber-goodies. but where, where was i at that period when i was supposed to mollycoddle myself by surfing the world wide web? inside the classroom, listening to sermons i'm not very much in need with.

miss a. asked anyone in the class to beg for the pardon of those people whom they have actually wronged. luckily, i was intrepid enough (with teenoe) to ask for bea's forgiveness. i felt guilty of those nasty insults i have been showering her with since god knows when. despite of that, here she was, just the other night, lending both ears to my personal problems which i did not reticently put up with her. i suck. i shouldn't have let her suffered that much. she's such a great kiddo, next to yana, whom i had asked the forgiveness of just last night for those evil blog tags. what was i thinking?

mabuti na lang at medyo naayos na ang gulo sa classroom. yay.

i cried. it was eka's fault. i opened up myself to her - on everything i hated about her. she also cried. we both cried. instead of having things already sanctioned, the silent gripe between the two of us just got worse. wow. how hell must've laughed.

macbeth is really stupid. teenoe and i had just verified her lack of common sense and foolishness. she doesn't even read the summaries we write on our english notebooks swathed in green art papers. she just checks it, and that's it - she even doesn't bother reading them. she just scribbles down her scrawly signature and that's it. she is an idiot. then teenoe and i attempted the impossible act for those aspiring to be model students - instead of writing the real summary of the last SRA story we just read, we jotted down stuffs such as, "not by the hair of my chinny chin chin!", "hit me baby, one more time.", and "danatee, spelling bee, let us sing some songs". if she does not reprimand the two of us about it the next day, then it certainly proves two things: she doesn't really read our summaries, and she is, no doubt, a fool.

inadvertently, i eavesdropped on kublai khan conversing with her friends, with kublai herself saying "ako! magte-take up ako ng dentistry sa college of doctors!". dudes, is there a university named as such? "college of doctors"? oh, c'mon. kublai, go be stupid somewhere else.

inside a public vehicle, unexpectedly, mooncake.xxii sat opposite me.

in any case, pardon me for such a lame post. i have been very busy with schoolworks lately, and you cannot blame me. i desire high grades and therefore, must attain them.

hindi ako makakatulog ngayong gabi. gusto ko paring maging science section. i will do anything to deserve being in OLC next year. sana kasama ako sa mga chosen ones nung deliberation - the chosen ones to remain in the science section, i mean... let us wait and hope in prayer...

to update yourself of the other happenings that happened a while ago. visit tino's blog and look for her january 12, 2005 post.

happy gx. happy ate ara_12.

skittles! how scrumptious. i consumed a lot of green ones during our geometry period. kudos!

2005-01-08T03:22:00.000-08:00

"i am a fool."

i should've known better. ][xiv][

down poison. three doors down.

i've dreamed about this, sixteen days away

now you're here, and my head lays

besides your body, pillowed under mine

you were poison, spinning round my mind

"welcome to my world,", she said, "do you feel alive?", she said

it's all a bad dream spinning in your lonely head

welcome to my world said, separated world,

down poison, down, down ...

body withered, body bied, time to take away this life

bad enough to die from one, out to mention four or five

"welcome to my world," she said, "do you feel alive?" she said

it's all a bad dream spinning in your lonely head

"welcome to my world" she said,

separated world, she stayed separated

down poison, down poison

down poison, down

you weren't there for me, I was there for you.

you wouldn't die for me, i've already died for you.

"welcome to my world" she said, "do you feel alive?" she said

it's all a bad dream spinning in your lonely head

"welcome to my world" she said,

separated world, she stayed separated

down poison, down poison

down poison, down...

i was a fool. i should've known the consequences of my decisions. ][gemini.xiv][

ienne. happy_o8, hunny.

2005-01-07T02:32:00.000-08:00

the divine providence.

last night, i did not sleep at all. i was texting mariel (who also did not feel the necessity of snoozing) until the wee hours of the morning, and it was rather droll to think that i made it through. wow. kudos for me.

coming to school exclusive of dark eyebags (which, with outmost certainty, was the thing mariel was not deprived of), i immediately teamed up with my usual "morning group", tino, kc, mariel, and v-ann to scoff that darned rhizelle's nose off her pudgy countenance. i had just found out from tino, the red cross club president, that the hoodwink had cut her club periods for four times in a row already. dudes, cutting classes are against the school rules, and with drastic measures it should be dealt with. after fishing out scissors from our bags (i borrowed mariel's since i left mine), we scurried off to the third street to begin the action plan. we waited for the target for about five minutes or so and, seeing her withdraw herself from her red car, prepared our sciccors and intoned "cutting! masarap mag-cutting!" to the banana-um tune to mock her. the fool just stood at one corner of the corridor and, with her fat face and arms akimbo, shot a mean look to us. mahn, she was the one who cut classes. now how come she's the one exasperated at our very presence while we're just there, doing what is right: aggravating her with the things she was accustomed into doing every thursdays? she is a fool and therefore should be one with the unquenchable flames of hell.

following recess was a mass devoted for the ill-fated tsunami victims, and kc was the commentator. the rest of the theresians (which included us) settled themselves on the bleachers where everyone, from below, could insult them and stuff. kc looked like a man from afar with her transparent folders. when will she ever learn the consequence of her ways? doesn't she know that resolving into being a man would only convey her pain in the butt? apparently she doesn't. her mind's not yet cleared up and therefore, we must pray for her.

throughout the mass, i was forced to give in to the vertigo the said proceeding was handing me over and tried to, out of a teacher's scrutiny, catnap for a short while. luckily, v-ann impeded me from doing so and tried to wake me up.

the fair lady, sookah_xvi, gave me a letter today with the furthest aspiration to know more about me. mahn, she sucks. what was the note for, anyway? i chucked it out of my grip, then to the litter bin it went. i can't afford to have burnt hands at this very crucial period in time.

i cannot compromise the details on the next matter i am about to thrash out to you, but you must have even the faintest idea of what i am talking about. picture my classmates all crying due to diverse rationales in a certain point of time. then everyone were like fighting against each other for god knows why. even a friend from the other section was gotten into this hard-hitting situation. so there. our class just had a fine taste of what "karma" is.

dieser dumme nun ist ein dummkopf! i hate her. she is evil. she made my friend cry her out due to her unjust decision. she sucks. she should die along with rowkee, cedar, rhizelle and macbeth.

ate ara invited me to a watch a cosplay competition and to watch a movie at megamall tomorrow after lunch. with the presence of her junior friends, i can consider myself to be out of place. i even invited mariel - she agreed, but that didn't help at all. ate ara insisted that i should come (since she'll the rest pay for me) lest i would want her to "be mad for sure... seriously :-(." you know what? i refused. she'd do well without me, anyway.

random stuffs.
1. tino kissed me a while ago on the cheek without my permission. dudes, i tell you - it was gross. she even kissed all the tackers and angge herself who, by the way, washed her face in disgust afterwards.
2. to yzabelle wutty who has a slight fever since yesterday: speedy recovery, mate! ='(
3. we'd make good composers, the tackers. we just made a song for our resident "english wizard" and "perfectly-bodied atheist" (while she's overlooking the taal lake. haha.)

why can't i manufacture apt verdicts at the right time?

(porphyra goodies? i wish to consume one. i got the pic from kuya jep's blog, who obviously had just acquainted me with it. -- january 08, 2005)

2005-01-03T23:00:00.000-08:00

perceive.

i used to snicker on the adversity that has befallen upon our southeast asian bretheren due to that hard-hitting and dangerous tsunami that has seized a lot of innocent lives, properties and has swigged on small islands. providentially, ms. tan had this "moral and religious obligation" to inform us, ignorant paulinians, more on the serious matter. the recital of her lips on the matter made almost a great impression as the tsunami's impact itself. i was deeply moved by her touchy facial expressions and delicate hand gestures that i was even urged to dedicate this post to the tsunami victims. i can't help but feel lucky i'm still here, alive and still breathing this certain gas fitered by my nasal cilia (if that would make sense...). thank you, god. as for the unfortunate sufferers? let us pray for them.

2005-01-02T01:38:00.000-08:00

ingested spearmints.

frittering the rest of my childhood days within the four walls of our quarters, me being a very, very inhibited and reticent child around a bunch of unknown relatives during a get-together (or in my dreaded case, a reunion) would be a very apparent feasibility. i never even had friends around our neighborhood. now how come these people whom i'd most likely prefer to label as "parents" expect me to mingle with our relatives, most of which i don't even talk to much whenever they're around? that's it. i have finally concluded that these people are not really acquainted with their only daughter. they are not right about me but they are perfectly right about the things they want for me. (or so i think they are...)

the title does not really suit this post. i don't actually have any idea on why such designation was typed on this entry. "ingested spearmints"? oh, come on.

yesterday has got to be one of those consternated proceedings that i used to just grimace and grunt about - a family reunion. i hate reunions, especially the parts wherein you have to be chivalrous enough to salute to each family member and to even lie about "the way they look tonight" (if you get what i mean). i am a very introvert kid who doesn't have the faintest idea of what being courteous is about. typically, i consider these events as "anathemas" and would just lock myself up inside my room and, wishing not to greet every relative below, just watch my favorite tv show with the laptop on and with stacks of powerbars all set for digestion. my parents were green with rage upon the knowledge of me being so capricious about going down and meeting my cousins and stuff. they even asked me if i had no face to show off and deep down, i knew i answered "i don't have! so beat it!". but certain flow of events urged me to just get down there, meet some relatives, chat with them in a jiffy, and get things over and done with. and so i did. with my "everyday clothes" on, i went down the stairs with the trepidation of apalling notices to be pelted on my fragile psyche.

things didn't turn out as infuriatingly as they were meant to get. i got to meet some relatives with them saying, "dalaga na si kim!" or "tumaba ka, hah!" (which is kind of annoying) and so on. the best part of it all was i got to lay my eyes on some cousins who saw me in my outmost contentment of just sitting by the window and watch how things were hours ago. there was tin, ana, kuya jep, kuya jason, and some unknown kids. we talked and laughed about stuffs which i can't even retain the information of. ("peace!")

what really advocated us to give off hearty guffaws was my youngest brother and his passion for dirt, idiocy and aerobatics. he did make a perfect spider-man impression while doing uncanny body movements and while lying on top of a certain red car, giving it a "free cleaning session" (as they said). he even literally attacked on whoever he had opted to pick on and bully mercilessly. the "chosen one" would often give off a scream or duck my brother's "attacks" with his imaginary horns. his favorite target were those people in "red, green and gold" (good thing ana and i were donning pink shirts by then). too bad. i feel sorry for kuya jason, kuya jep and tin, who, in an outmost mishap they do not deserve, were wearing the designated target colors. my stupid sibling became the neighborhood favorite. people would go out of their houses just to have that precious glimpse of him and his idiotic acts.

i got acquianted with some relatives pretty well. not bad for a kid who used to be a very, very inhibited and reticent child around a bunch of unknown relatives during a get-together (or in a reunion, in my case). i just wished i had spent more time with my cousins, though.

by the way. i was told of being "pretty" that night. wow.

january 1, 2004. belated happy new year, everyone.

(i used to be like that man in the red shirt...)

2004-12-29T04:53:00.000-08:00

deadened screams.

after being just 8 hours away from civilization for almost five days, i have finally attained, at long last, true nirvana unlike any other. this happinness is not out of the ordinary. i finally am home.

damn it. this is one abysmal blog post. i suck. this post sucks. i'll just tell you the whole of it some other time.

meanwhile, a trip to the supermarket stretched my limbs up. cool. but it never got my usual strength back. argh.

siyel would've been ecstatic about today. 29. another used to be.

"one abysmal blog post". i warned you, didn't i?

(Xtac pics: Awesome Part II.)

2004-12-20T17:59:00.000-08:00

au revoir.

i'll be going to the province tomorrow and with that, i bid the urban world goodbye.

auf wiedersehen, mein gemini_xiv. ich vermisse wirklich sie und ihr schönes llächeln. ich vermisse sie und die zeiten, die ich ihre schönheit anstarrte. ich liebe sehr, sehr viel! für ewigkeit!

adios para ahora, cada uno.

gemini_xiv. my life. my world. my everything.

2004-12-18T16:20:00.000-08:00

partiality.

it's official. leche ang favoritism. damn it. it's too much already. pulubi na nga ako, gagawin pa niya yun? the nerve! it's my money, not hers. aarrgghh! *smashes her fist on someone else's face*

anyway, please do update yourself with my december 14, 16 and 17 posts, which i just posted recently.

(i will truly miss you, oh my beloved one. for real.)

2004-12-17T05:31:00.000-08:00

one remarkable paradise.

i am finally free. liberty had never been this sweet before. after almost two weeks of experiencing hell out of endeavoring in achieving the completion of school notes and requirements for the dreaded third quarter periodic exam, i am now, at last, emancipated from the afflictions i had just gone through. kudos to papa god for aiding me always.

first of all, let me greet dana oreo: happy_xvii! and.. happy_mooncake!

today is the last day of classes - the final day that i'll ever see gemini_xiv's face on which hideous face rashes are embedded. i shall truly miss her though we're just one text or call away. things aren't going to be the same for the next weeks to come. i know i can never take pleasure from this so-called "christmas hiatus" given to us by our plump principal and her passion for superiority. for more than 2 weeks, i'll never be able to see my friends and my beloved teachers, including the one with plentiful lovers and owner of the eye of eternal darkness with her "already checked" research papers. for more than 2 weeks, i'll never be able take a glimpse of our congested school canteen with its chit booth and iced tea counter being inhabited by students fighting for supremacy on who'll get to have their money echanged for chits first or on who'll get to have the first plastic cup of fresh, ice cold tea. for more than 2 weeks, i'll never be able to smirk at the "kool caduh" while discussing with my fellow tackers on how "cool" their 'kada is. for more than 2 weeks, i'll never be able to see xiv and feel the presence of her beautiful soul being just around the corner. yes. this x'mas break would mean nothing if it would be xiv-less.

maiiwasan ba ang bawa't sandaling ika'y laman ng isip ko?
maiiwasan bang ngayo'y lilipas ng hindi kita nasisilayan?
nararapat bang pigilan ang damdamin na lalong mahulog sa iyo?

the chritmas program was totally jaded. oh, how i wished sleeping was a definite possibility back then! damn those children present in the program, the kindergartners, for think they were so cute while singing dumb x'mas carols and dancing by pairs before a live audience. they can't even sing well, for crying out loud. their voices just cracked my eardrums up mercilessly. i knew it all along that those preschool mentors aren't going to get the best out of these lousy children and, therefore, should be fired along with rowkee, cedar and elena. and next comes the feat of selected college students who did nothing but to entice my annoyance in. these women were all in freaky white dresses and did lots of eerie hand movements along with sucky tagalog dialogues. (dudes, how long have our national language been loathesome?) they should've seen on what they looked like onstage and weep in shame over it. the perfomance of the HS teachers lit a little spark of fire within my bored soul, though. and after that, the rest are history.

the gift-giving moment was a while ago. i received quite a number of gifts. the cutest ones were from dana, tino and gen. but the most touching was from my gemini. aww. despite of being totally out of cash, she still managed to bring me a little something. (it was actually not small... really... ^_^;)

joan, dana oreo, tino, v-ann, kc and yours truly had our "play production" pictorials. we posed different facades with matching touchy facial expressions. we asked jan to take the pictures for us who, obviously, found us pretty weird. oh yes, we undoubtedly are peculiar freaks. [v-ann and tino: hottest love team]

i lost the spongecola cd paper with lyrics on it and smashed my laptop's optical mouse last night! darn it!
by the way. tino and i did the weirdest things a while ago. we ate rice with chicken, M&Ms, menudo soup and some other stuffs not fit for consumption for health-freaks. then we walked around in circles in the middle of the school canteen with the people eating in it and its personnel staring at us like crazy. haha.

but then again, paradise had been remarkable today. cheers.

][ batman ][ : cool!

2004-12-16T16:14:00.000-08:00

rabid flights.

genevive gatbonton: happy_sixteen! (1 year and two months)

today is the last day of the dreaded 3rd quarter periodic exams. i would have to worry no more about completing notes or acing in various subjects' tests. my mishap has finally come to its marvelous end! now all i have to worry about are the results. but then again, fervent prayers never failed anyone.

mendee, teenoe (without parents' consent), v-ann, kC, siyel and yours truly decided to buy gifts for tomorrow's party today at megamall after taking the tests. another gimmick, i presume. we all had civilian dresses to spare us the violations of scorning a couple of school rules except for super friend teenoe, who only had khaki shorts underneath her checkered school skirt at that time. mendee decided to let her borrow her garments for a while, so we went to their condo unit.

somewhere in the middle of nowhere, the school bus of kC's cousin (or so we think it was) was tracking us wherever we went. it sort of creeped us out, mahn. we're talking about EVERYWHERE here and not just one spot. the bus was literally taking the routes we just took. waah. to think that we were shouting at it at the top of our lungs "doms!"

then we were now at mendee's condo unit, and the minute i stepped inside the lobby, i drawled tons of insults. the stench that wafted through my nasal cavity resembled pungent human feet! the smell was as repulsive as basilisko's breath itself. disregarding the anguish of having to inhale the intoxicated oxygen we were destined to breathe upon, we took the elevator and went straight to mendee's. they had this delightful little doggie who happened to have her monthly period that day. after gazing upon her majestic beauty, we stepped inside mendee's room and changed garments. it was just back then that i realized that i had snagged on the wrong sandals! i picked the girly one. maybe i was still in the verge of falling asleep at that point in time. v-ann tried to exchange footwear with me since she said that she liked mine but unfortunately, my sandals were small enough for her feet. too bad. i already fell in love with her awesome shoes. :'( but then again, i have no other option. i simply cannot settle for my last resort - walking barefoot aound the mall - so i finally decided to get away with it. mendee let teenoe borrow sam mendee's rubber shoes without official consent and said it was okay. then off we went to megamall.

i saw gift gate and entered in it in search for the perfect besty gift. i tagged kc along with me inside as i rummaged every shelf for something cute. then i chanced upon this cute cocker spaniel stuffed animal which, by the way, i wanted the possession of in the first place. but then i thought of ericka salonga and decided to just give this fabulous gift to her out of best friendly love.

siyel insisted that we eat in a restaurant first before we rove around in coming across wonderful presents for tomorrow. with that, we went to KFC and saw lots of paulinians from pasig, to be exact. we saw ones with those ribbon-like neckties and those who deliberately got rid of them. mendee and i ordered hotshots and some fries and stuff. nyohoho.

after consuming a lot of food, we decided to part ways in a short while. teenoe, mendee and v-ann went to vans while kc, siyel and i went to blue magic to purchase some things. it took us quite a while inside that store. kc bought her choice of presents and so did siyel for her besty, yza. i was not able to pick up anything from there so i just roamed around and perceived these wonderful mini dolls (and became obsessed with them for 5 minutes). after a few minutes, i had the answer to my pleas. toy kingdom is the only place wherein i could purchase faultless gifts for the tackers and for ate ara, and not in blue magic. so we decided to go there.

before formally entering toy kingdom, we overtook at a cake store which caught our outmost attention: kink cakes. the cakes there were really fabulous and not to mention, nauseating. inside it were pills sold for lesbians to consume if they'd want men to let them buzz off. there were also cakes carved like naked bodies and human reproductive organs. mahn. totally gross.

toy kingdom was as jam-packed as ever. we even chanced upon clariane and liwag there. then next, the heartthrobs and a couple of junior students. then i went around to search for the tackers' and ate ara's gifts (and found none). so while in the middle of making up our minds whether to walk to shangrila and go to "tickles" and procure better stuffs there, siyel thought of letting the toy kingdom crew clap "for v-ann and teenoe's birthday" that day (out of unprofitable boredom). we requested the people at the counter to say these words out loud at the microphone:

IN BEHALF OF TOY KINGDOM, WE WOULD LIKE TO GREET FLAVIE ANN CLET and ANGELA TOLENTINO A HAPPY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

then everyone inside the store clapped like crazy.

v-ann and teenoe went beserk and walked out of toy kingdom with the shame of having one ecosystem of toy addicts to clap for them, thinking it was really their birthday. kc, siyel, mendee and i went out last. i passed by cute yet expensive stuffed toys near the exit and found a really cuddly tiger(?) and even thought of buying it for myself. but then, i had the thought of the true meaning of christmas all over my head and bought it for ate ara instead. (whoa.. that rhymes!)

by the way. i saw two dbtc guys back there. i think they had been my classmates before. i just don't know.

we agreed on having a 'kada of our own, the six of us: 'kada ganap. meaning? "kada ng mga ganap na babae at lalaki", having kc, tino and mendee as the "ganap na mga lalaki" and siyel, v-ann and yours truly as "ganap nga mga babae".

this day seemed like one of the most memorable ones, we thought, so why not take a picture of it? then we immediately trotted off to tronix to have our pictures taken in a jiffy. we fixed ourselves fast (though we knew for a fact that our repulsive facades can't get any better) and hurriedly posed for our portraits. we had pics a la playprod style, formal, and some were just plain weird. when we already had them developed, we all thought we sucked. wahahaah. pics taken by digital cameras are really not worth 60 pesos multiplied by 6.

we passed by goodwill bookstore due to v-ann's insistent demand to do so for her to purchase some book notes for god knows why. while she's at it, we chanced upon a book entitled, "deliver us from evil". whoa. kudos to its author. i should've brought more bucks with me, then. i could've acquired this gift right away and could've given it to lucy per rowkee the day after as a christmas gift. mahn. another opportunity stepped on.

kc, v-ann and i decided to stop by ice monster to chill... and there, we saw jamille... (whoa.. that rhymes... again!)

mendee told us to hurry up to the parking lot for manong driver was already waiting for us there. so we ran in circles and all i gained? achy feet. argh. sucky girly sandals...

while waiting for her driver, we caught a glimpse of the prettiest boy to date: converse_32!!! (with his bandamates, we presume, since they have guitars and stuff). mahn, he's so damn pretty in his glasses and white shirt with converse_32 on it. even teenoe and mendee fell head over heels for his gorgeousness. but the only person who never was enticed by his beauty that much and only labeled him as "okay lang..." was kc. yes. tibo talaga yung taong yun. aminadong lalaki. tsk... *nods head in pity* turning down the proposal of her piggy suitor and her neutral remark on converse_32 says it all. oh well...

... what hope for kC? what hope for kC? no hope... no hope... no hope.

we scurried off to mendee's condo unit in a flash. then upon reaching there, we finally have drawn this conclusion:

patay kami kay sam mendero.

remember? mendee did not let him know that teenoe had used his rubber shoes. seeing him sit at the sofa lobby made us think that he was indeed waiting for the person who used his belonging without permission. mendee decided to let us escape from his wrath and go first to their unit before he does. the elevator was taking too long so we decided to go and make good use of our feet - and took the stairs from first floor to the 9th. and that, i tell you, was not as easy as it seemed. ang hirap! sobra! sakit sa paa.

so we came first inside mendee's room. sam wasn't there yet. good grief. mendee quickly put sam's footwear inside the cabinet and made it look as if it never had been touched. but after a few seconds of chanting in ecstasy HE came in, probably in search of the rubber-shoed freak. he went to his room first and to our horror...

.. he took the rubber shoes tino sported. OH NO!!!

out of the trepidation of finding his brother's fist on her face after we'd gone home, mendee decided to sleep somewhere else that night. then she opted to bring us home.

teenoe was reproached by her parents for not asking consent in going out with us. claude jino, i ache for you.

i got home at around 8:45 pm.

*sigh* that's it. i've finally drawn this eerie conclusion that rabid flights do come to pass.

(look at this mysterious fossil. radical!)

kada ganap pics: awesome!

2004-12-14T18:40:00.000-08:00

mien gemini_xiv: mien alles!

gemini_xiv, ich liebe dich so viel! glücklich!

bitte lassen sie mich einfach wird eingeschlossen innerhalb ihres schattens für ewigkeit.

ich bin für immer ihr..

2004-12-10T10:10:00.000-08:00

bliss.

dec. o9, 2004.

for garnering the championship for the spelling bee...br>

congratulations,

BLISSMASTER
DANA OREO!

DECEMBER 10, 2004.

XTAC...

... aba naman.. isang
taon na tayo!

2004-12-07T05:46:00.000-08:00

internal sublimation.

warning: this would be an overly-lengthy post.

i entered the school gates with the perceptible trepidation of having a taste of xiv's fury against people like me in certain circumstances. my exterior trembled with fear as i ventured through the campus grounds (explicitly the canteen area), anticipating i would pass by her and ruin everything. but this day turned out to be xiv-less. she's absent, and now i am counting my blessings. i just wish she's not actually mad at me or something...

enough of the xiv "scandal" and the shenanigans i myself improvised that could have possibly enticed her vexation in. i want you guys to know i sucked in our computer quiz a while ago, anyway.

we had teachers' day celebration before lunch period, and manufacturing noise and mayhem seemed like an evident feasibility. knowing that there would be games and teachers would undoubtedly participate in it, i made an astoundingly stupid banner with "gud aftuhnoon, miss cuckum... show no mercy!" on it. i even aided some mates in making an exceptional banner for miss adlaon. yup, that banner was indeed special.

no freakin way. lucy per garnered an award for being a "fashionista". ahahaah. yup. dreams do come true.

i abhorred the very fact that we would be having a marian prayer camp this afternoon first thing in the morning. we were ordered to wear our stupid batch shirt with the misspelled "strength" on it (otherwise spelled as "strenght") and our red jogging pants, or we shall suffer a great deal of losing some homeroom points. dudes, we were hustled, and it sucks. @_@. they simply cannot bribe us to wear those garments and be resembled to jumbo hotdogs. but then again, cedar's scary face (and her noodle-like hair) made us do it, though against our wills.

the agony of the long, unbeneficial hours of singing that infamous song, "Turumba", doing a couple of uncanny arm movements and swaying of flaglets; and listening to those sucky college teachers and their overly-ceremonial lectures about the blessed mother which, by the way, were far too jaded that i wished at that time that somebody would please, just kill me, really plucked my last nerves. they did not benefit anyone, and they are actually aware of it. they just brought us a taste of what having dull moments feels like. darn it.

it was all worth it, anyway. i passed by and actually saw my "hiatus_xxiii". damn. she's so cool and cute. (^_^;) *newfound inspirare*

i bonded once again with GX a while ago, and we had new members (welcome, ejoh and rituh...) we shall never be detached from one another anymore, and i'm glad that things are slowly falling back in place. i even made things up with my besty a while ago during the mass though i think it's sort of her fault why i am into this predicament now. but anyway... who cares?

fire. how i missed fire. and that emptiness was filled up once again during the rosary activity at the quadrangle. i squared things up with Kuya Quentin finally. yay.

XTAC:
ang pinaka sawing-palad na kada sa buong mundo.

Members of the New PlayProd, "Ang Mga Pulubi"(?):
o. Angela Tolentino: "pulubing naka-back bend".
o. Kim Naranja: "mayamang nagkukunwaring pulubi".
o. Siyel Narag: "ang pulubing bulag na nagsasabing siya raw ay sinugo ng diyos upang magdala ng liwanag sa ating mapanglaw na mundo".
o. Joan Ko: "pangalawang sinugo... ang pangalawang Hesus".
o. Yza Wuthrich: "pulubing madaming gimmick sa buhay".
o. Dana Torio: "isang mayamang nilalang".

KUBLAI KHAN PLAY PRODUCTION:

Casts:
1. Angela Tolentino as "Raphael Lakandiwa", Kublai Khan's love interest; these two met only through online chatting (YM)
2. Kim Naranja as "Gabriel Moneda", Raphael's best bud and eventually will fall for Kublai's another love interest, Rodney (Rod for short)
3. KC Alcantara as "Rodney", Kublai's other love interest
4. Yza Wuthrich as "The Friend", Kublai's best bud and introduces her to Raphael
5. Dana Torio as "Kublai Khan", the main character in this play production... a "beautiful" yet vain young lady who would prefer venturing to the world of pure deception just to attain what she desires the most: true love.
Director: Joan Ko.

Kimnar signing off. (11:20 pm)

Until the day I die, I'll spill my heart for YOU. ='(

2004-12-06T04:14:00.000-08:00

"Bitte hassen Sie mich nicht. Wenn Sie, dann würde ich selbst eher Tote sofort haben."

she knew and kept "my sin" a secret.
.. and the fact that she does know makes my life more like a living hell.
focker.
damn life.
i've enjoyed it once and here i am, loathing it once more.
i don't understand. i've done none of those irreparable wrongs they used to label as unforgivable transgressions... now how come i experience this hell?

i just hope she doesn't despise me or anything. let us wait and hope in prayer.

because if she DOES hate me?

focker. i'll kill myself for real.

2004-12-05T21:05:00.000-08:00

take offs.

i don't want to be left alone anymore.
lahat na lang ng mga kaibigan ko, nawawala. umaalis. iniiwan ako.
focker. ayoko ng ganitong buhay.
lord, please. huwag naman.
i'd do anything.
huwag muna.

anyway, i got myself yet again another stupid haircut. i look grotesque! darn it. but then again, i can't just glue my hair back, can i? oh well. i might as well prepare myself for another ROUGH morning tomorrow.

one realization: moms can get pretty annoying, and at the same time, you just enjoy being with them for quite some time.

... o31_xxxi, if you're looking for an open book, look no further. i am yours ONCE MORE.

2004-12-04T03:50:00.000-08:00

of marbles, apt decisions, and countless scabs.

at home.

i must've woken up from the wrong side of bed this morning. i started this nasty day off with a heated conversation with my mom, who apparently had been the object of my frustration this morning. she kept on asking me on what time i'll commence with my church services this afternoon. i was pissed off for the fact that i hated redundant people. it's so damn frustrating, and i don't know why. i never really meant to unleash my hidden exasperations for these past few days on her, but what can i do? what's done is done. i hated the harsh reality that i disappointed her in any way, but whenever i would try to ask for her pardon, there's always this certain something that holds me back from doing so. she called me "a family burden". oh well. i would be too superficial if i would let that statement get the best of me today. and besides... i am really a worthless slut. no big deal.

but later on, i did realize that she DOES care.

at the parish involvement.

the parish involvement a while ago, dare i say, totally rocked. (YOU might want to engage yourself in church services later on.) i commenced my activities with joan. there was never a dull moment with her. we had a lot of happy hours together. she let me see her crush's precious text messages and some other stuffs. then we proceeded with the lecturing session with the sacritans and the dominican girls.

robin, an infamous altar server, really sucks. father whoever-he-might-be was working busy his butt off to teach them good manners and other things of that sort, and what did he do? he kept on shooting the priest with his nasty opinions about the church being unfair of not letting him serve at the night of "Simbang Gabi". but i think the priest is indeed fair, for some reasons (which i am too lazy to state out here). i am telling you. if i had been given the priviledge of letting him snap out of it and kick his ass, i would've done it. stupid boy.

oh well. that's it for today. i still have to eat dinner and stuff.

Your Love Life by lpfloatsmyboat
Name/username/nickname:
favorite color:
best physical quaility:	hair
best personality trait:	caring and thoughtfuk
will you marry your bf/gf that you have now?	it depends
when will you get married?	October 24, 2014
your kiss is:	meaningful!
People date you because:	you're everything they want in a girl/guy

Quiz created with MemeGen!

2004-12-02T08:38:00.000-08:00

a bona fide loser no more.

**no classes (again.)
**happy kc_o2.
**strong rains and winds.
**blown-off roofs at yza's pace.
**howling dogs.
**anticipation of power-shortage and the loss of cable tv's.
prediction of soon experiencing of an unprofitable boredom.

goodbye to a comfy, easygoing life and hello to the pain and misery of having to endure these things under the circumstance of expecting a strong tempest to come our way.

it has, indeed, been a pleasure meeting Diondra, a 16-year old girl from Kansas. she was a very nice girl, and i must say... she's different among the rest. hi, Diondra! goodluck with those homeworks you've got there. (December 03, 2004)

("The poor, wretched fool that I am...")

2004-12-01T03:39:00.000-08:00

"your soul will walk to the kitchen..."

i just noticed that i'm not in a very good mood today. even my english right about now's lousy. i suck.

i hurt my finger badly. it totally bled, man. fuck. damn those pistachos.

now i know that i'm totally invisible to her naked eye.

it hurts.

2004-11-29T17:17:00.000-08:00

unecessary consumption.

apparently, fate had nothing much in store for me today. the weather's kind of rainy and i'm here stuck in front of the computer seat, trying to make the most out of a hiatus one could only attain once every 3 months or so. my parents and two totally pesky brothers were out of town since last friday, and i'm left here with our household helper. we don't chat often for i always haul myself up in my room. god knows why.

i am usually a very obedient girl. but it seems like i have forgotten to honor that title since last saturday. i dozed off that very day at 3 am, and i just spent my time watching the television in my pj's, eating literally a bowl of potato chips and almost four bars of powerbars. i guess that must've been the ones that kept me awake up until three in the morning. and i even took a cold bath that same, fateful day too, at 10 pm. i ended up having nasty colds and a slight fever was what i got last night for that matter. and last night, i dozed off at about 2 am. pretty much an hour earlier than last saturday.

modems are the most sophisticated communication devices ever made by human beings. they let us journey into the wonderful realm of the world wide web. and i love my modem. but i think it's sort of busted. it must've given away from that wicked fall it had the past few days. damn it.

lately, i have been into so much american cartoons. lesser anime's. i think this would mean an adieu.

sigh.

maybe lately, i have been demented or something. i just don't know.

(Beavis and Butthead. One radical toon next to Aqua Teen Hunger Force.)

(as for you, dana_oreo, good luck in mastering on how to play the acoustic guitar. while you're at it, i shall master in playing Jared, an orange electric guitar i will, hopefully, soon have the ownership of.)

2004-11-29T03:56:00.000-08:00

6:00 pm.
i don't know why, but i feel like comitting suicide today.

countless are the times she made my heart writhe in unbearable pain... then the other things come next.

mabait naman pala si 12. wow. friendly. =)

ayun.

2004-11-28T18:03:00.000-08:00

one devastated essence.

i have always developed an unimaginable abhorrence to the fact that ocasionally, i have no choice but to crush a fragile soul's dearest expectations (unless really necessary). in this case, i felt nothing that would restrain me from doing so. i just stepped on poor jamez's fondest hopes of having our dear blissmaster KC for himself. with all due respect to him, i subtly asked him to stop luring KC's exasperations in whenever he sends her those disturbing text messages and IMs of "goodnights" and "hellos". i guess he got what i meant and buzzed off.

he was in a state of bweilderment at those times. i knew from the very start that he liked KC. he was really uncertain because of the fact that he is yet to see her personally to prove his unwavering affection. i mean, what is not there to like about the blossoming young lady? he was ensnared into her undoubtedly tempting charms. who could blame him?

his only fault is that he wasn't gorgeous enough for the likes of KC. we simply cannot accept him and his piggy face. i am so sorry, mate. you may be joseph's friend, but i still cannot tolerate your unattractiveness. blissmasters and super friends, let us have those fingers crossed. who knows? that grotsque exterior might actually be bogus, and underneath it, a perfect exterior is about to free itself out and be noticed...

... but let's face it. that kind of thing happens only in the rarest fairy tales.

poor, demoralized soul. pity you. and thank you for buzzing off forever.

click HERE to have a glimpse of the face who loved our beloved Blissmaster KC.

(he literally looks like this.)

2004-11-27T19:43:00.000-08:00

the forgotten.

i have forgotten to inform you guys of the triumphant ransacking activity some of the members of 'super friends' (yza wutty, dana oreo and yours truly) conducted to the locker of a person most likely to be (and must be) feared by everyone -- the class kleptomaniac -- last november 19, 2004, approximately 4:30 pm.

the "window of rare opportunities" were excusively opened for us that very day, so why waste such sweet chance of being able to prove that that person really is the secret class bandit? so we wasted no time and tried to guess her lock's combinations. we have tried within all our powers to guess what were the numbers that would let us venture through her world of selfish desires, but to no avail. when we punched in some more numbers, some got stuck, and we didn't know what to do. but alas... out of the ultimate despair that was starting to chew upon our fondest hopes, we just randomly pressed in some numbers; and the numbers "08" made it possible for us to journey inside her locker.

adrenaline was rushing through our veins. at last. the moment of truth has finally come.

we saw two english and geometry textbooks, and they were kublai khan's properties. wow. the usual best friend stuff.

other than that, we saw nothing else that could possibly be owned by a kleptomaniac-prone paulinian.

i must say, she's quite a smart aleck. why else would she keep the stuffs she stole in her locker, anyway? someone might actually ransack through it (definitely, she's reffering to us, the super friends and tackers) and reveal her dark secrets. but who cares, anyway? she's got nothing to hide now. we're not stupid, you know. we know what you're up to, you kleptomaniac, you. those g-tecs and other stuffs you robbed... that novel which belonged to someone else you coveted and got your hands onto... that's it. you've gone off the deep end. you're busted, and you know it.

the top 5 hottest guys for kimnar (number 1 being the highest)
1. brandon boyd
2. drake bell
3. john mayer
4. maksim
5. takeshi yasutoko

too bad... they all have their girls now.

teenoe_xxvii and her one and only xxvii... happy. =')

i just noticed something. why is it that whenever i write in english, i kind of like, excel in it and everything, and whenever i try to speak in english, i'm a little bit rusty? i shall try to master speaking in english... i must polish my english... i must... i will...

Get to know the REAL you by crash_and_burn
Your Name
You Are A:	Emo Boy/Girl
Your Favorite Band/Song	Incubus - Stellar
You Like To Read:	Everything
You Firmly Believe In:	Love at first sight
Everyone Thinks You Are:	A respectable person
You Were Conceived:	On the 30-yard line
You Will Marry:	Your half-sister/brother

Quiz created with MemeGen!

2004-11-26T19:38:00.000-08:00

i found a way.

yesterday (november 25), i had almost an hour of ultimate bliss, and i can't help but feel as if i'm the luckiest person who ever have lived. words can't say what love can do. dammit. *he makes me think of lightning in skies. *he makes me ultimately blissful. *he is everything one could ever have. but i don't want *him. i just want to see *him everyday and converse with *him as if we have known each other for quite sometime. *he is only my crush and will always be, yet *he makes me happier than any man can. (yes... even drake bell.) so this is what happiness is like. you forget the feeling of being so incomplete... of being so unstable in life. but i was told not to try to escape life's trials all the time, for they are indeed, inevitable, and it would only make things more complicated. sigh. why the hell is life so complicated, anyway? but then again, *he gave me the happiness i must've deserved the day before, and for that, i am most certainly thankful.

3:30-4:50 pm.

okay. so that was what happened yesterday. let us think of today first...

*he was staring at me a while ago (november 26, present date) while i was there sitting on the bleachers, trying to escape from the unprofitable boredom the mass was bringing into my system and from the nasty feeling of once again being paranoid of having menstrual blood all over the back of my skirt. *he kept on turning *his head every now and then to my direction, and *he was like talking to *his friends at every turn of *his head from me. i was kind of thinking that they were having some sort of a secret conversation about me and how stupid i look from afar. maybe *he now knows that i like *him. the hell i care? i just like *him. it's not like i'm so into *him now. i don't want these things *he's now having *his suspicions at get to *his head. don't get me wrong. *he's only my crush and it will always stay that way... no more, no less. but then again, *he's so cute, and i can't help but get my eyes on *him whenever i have the chance. dammit. i'm becoming more like a stalker each day... this is so weird.

i prayed to the 'our lady of piat'-thing for three things a while ago: for the persons i love's happiness, having the drive to strive harder in becoming an honor student this quarter, and for that very, very simple desire of *him saying a simple "hi" to me this day. but what the heck happened to my third wish? nothing, dudes. i was kind of really expecting it to come to pass TODAY. but no. damn it all. i'm green with rage, mahn. to hell with that pact. where's that "miracle" everyone, including me, is expecting that image to give to each and every one of us present in that celebration-thingy? but then again, i'm willing to wait. maybe it'll happen the next week, tommorow or some other day. god knows when. all i know is i'm willing to wait.

together with xtac, we planned about our death, and this was all because of ms. tan's fault. she urged us to do so. we all planned to be in an x-shaped coffin when we die (hopefully december 10, 2090... hehe. we'll die all together at the same time!) okay... so here are our plans...

motif: pink, neon green and orange
burol venue: splash island
music: "dancing in the moonlight" by toploader
food: ice monsters, boy bawang, lugaw (and all those other cheap party favors available)
hospital (for our autopsies and things of some sort): MCU (chynna will take care of the bills!)
engraved words on our epitaphs: "death shall fly on swift wings.", "death, thy name is x-tac."; "R.I.B. : rest in bliss."
cause of death: bites of african tsetse flies (we favor a slow and painless death)

now... need i say more? this is starting to freak me out, dudes. =')

anyway... owa, welcome back. =')

i found a way. drake bell.

I never thought that it'd be so simple but
I found a way, I found a way
I always thought that it'd be too crazy but
I found a way, I found a way
If you open up your mind
(See what's inside)
It's gonna take some time, to realize
But if you look inside, I'm sure you'll find....
Over your shoulder you know that I told you
I'll always be pickin' you up when you're down
So just turn around
Now that I know that anything's possible
I found a way, I found a way
No one can break what is so unbreakable
I found a way, I found a way
And if you open up your mind
(See what's inside)
Well it's gonna take some time, to realize
But if you look inside, I'm sure you'll find
Over your shoulder you know that I told you
I'll always be pickin' you up when you're down
So just turn around

*he is none other than my "mr. fries". tackers, you know who that person really is... *grins broadly*

so long for now. i now have to say adieu.

2004-11-24T03:17:00.000-08:00

"you are stellar..."

drake bell rocks. bigtime.

i'm happy today. that's it. no strings attached.

2004-11-23T02:35:00.000-08:00

the despair of judas... incredulity...

this day has got to be the most memorable one ever. a lot of things had happened -- some things were not really meant to be taken into action if only we have not let ourselves get the best of us; and some things were really wished upon the rarest of stars to come to pass.

owa have had her plans of leaving xtac. i knew this was going to take place all along. i know she's not happy with us anymore (or so i think it is).she's happier with her "new gal pals" (aren't we your pals anymore? that hurts big time...) i would have given up everything from the powers that be just for things to revert to the way they used to be, but she has now raised her conclusions. "you need not do anything. this is my decision. believe me, it's better this way. there is only one thing you can do for me: support me!"

i know i'm not a person of many words when it comes to mushy stuffs like this. i have this sharp pang within me now that would never go away, and it's all because of this damned matter. but what can i do? what's done is done. i respect her and her decision. but then again, though" we don't belong to the same set of friends anymore", i hope nothing changes between us. owa, you'll still be my besty. i am the one who is supposed to be very sorry for letting you down. i suck, and you need not rub it in so hard to my chest. you might think these words would only last for a meantime... you might think that i can be judged against the seeds which fell on a rocky road. no. our friendship has its strong roots, and that cannot be pulled up by some other outer forces easily. no freakin way. i love you, owa. i hope nothing changes between us. i will truly miss you... ='(

okay. that's the sad (very sad indeed) part of the day. let us move onto the brighter parts (in numbered forms):

1. we have finally learned on how to read well the piece "Despair of Judas". i've got to admit, that piece has got to be one of the coolest ones ever. "Die? Will death quench the flames which consume me? Traitor, not even endless years in hell would pay the crime of murdering the son of God..." "Torment us not, Jesus! Judas, faithful friend, devil..." "Not even in hell can I escape... The earth would spurn my corpse..."

2. we only had a few classes a while ago (now that's something to be ecstatic about... though i actually miss those "regular class" times... gusto ko na mag-aral!)

3. cuckum is as stupid as always. we have waited for her inside our room for what seemed like thirty minutes or so a while ago while making flowers out of crepe papers for CL, thinking that she's the next subject teacher. we have waited in vain. ang tanga talaga nya. we were thinking that she got lost inside the campus grounds, unweariyingly searching on which floor our dear old classroom stood on. she entered with her stupid grin and told us, "akala ko mga 11:55 pa ako sa klase nyo... my schedule said so..." dude, by that time, it was already 11:30-something, leaving her only a few minutes to commence with her lessons. she stayed in our classroom for only less than ten minutes. then here comes the "demonic device", Lucy Per. dammit. magkasunod na sakit sa ulo.

4. natuwa daw si "mr. burger" sa'kin. aaw. she's so beautiful, and so is her soul. haay. the hell. she's so... she's all that. haay. kudos to emperor wu ti for accomplishing 'her task'. i would never have attained ultimate bliss if it weren't for her.

5. yza wutty won during the bible quiz bee a while ago. wow. she's so smart. "Tacker yan!" nyohoho. congratulations, yza... sa uulitin, hah? =')

6. shemai... ang gwapo ni drake bell! heartthrob! *drool* hahaa.

7. i literally had my school skirt "almost all red with blood". dude, i consumed 4 sanitary napkins in just a day! now that's something.

Your Suicide.. by Konstantine
Your Name/Username
Favorite Number?
Favorite Color?
Gender?
How will you commit suicide?	You will sit in the garage with the car on and “listen to the lullabies of carbon monoxide”
How many tries will it take?	43
When will you commit suicide?	October 21, 2017
What will your suicide note say?	This broken heart will never mend, so never shall I breathe again

Quiz created with MemeGen!

"Live and be happy, beloved children of his heart, and never forget that, until the day comes when God will deign to reveal the future to man, all human wisdom is contained in these words: Wait and Hope!"

i shall wait and hope for a better day to come... here in my room.

2004-11-17T16:35:00.000-08:00

the pilgrims of evil.

dana oreo and i decided to be productive yesterday, despite of the temptation of dozinng off during engleberta's period. we made another play production, and hopefully, this will be a successful one. allow me to intoduce to you the list of the characters, vile and good, and their respective weapons that help them stand up for whatever their beliefs are...

BAD PEOPLE:
the new research lady: "the eye of eternal darkness"
hades yumao: "the key of vengeance
jimmu tenno: "the thingy of doom"
palikpik: "the glass of lust"
kojiki: "the bag of debauchery"
baby rems: "the veil of deception"
engleberta: "the napkin of mass destruction"
cedar: "the slip of pleasure"
lucy per rowkee: "the red pen of greed"
tann: "the book of filth"

GOOD PEOPLE (that's us!)
angela tino: "the board of truth"
kimnar: "the card of light"
dana oreo: "the pimple of prudence"
KC: "the manuscripts of virtues"
chell: "the lens of discipline"
yza: "the hand of mercy"
eka: "the braces of chastity"
joan: "the adipose of abstinence"
v-ann: "the foot of fortitude"
kate: "the tongue of temperance"

so there.

okay. so i still have lots to do and lots of subjects to study on.i must maintain my grade, and maybe increase it up 5 points or so. hahaa. so there.

(The Brothers Karamazov by Fyodor Dostoyevsky: The coolest book to date)

2004-11-15T01:57:00.000-08:00

ineptitude.

i thought i was happy. but i am not. i thought i had everything figured out, but no. thinking that i'm happy now with my little life is the only thought my mind is capable of conjuring up as of now, but then i just realized that it was just a complete nonesense... an immense ineptitude.

2004-11-13T02:24:00.000-08:00

shattered no more.

i have finally attained, if not yet Nirvana, true happiness. (though there's still this certain emptiness inside) i think i have become a better person, and i'm not that agitated about some matters anymore. i have grown, and am shattered no more.

the EOP yesterday was a blast, and it kind of made me assume that my success in life lies beyond academic affairs -- rather, in mounteneering and in being a facilitator of Lakbay Kalikasan. i now take back those foolish statements that came out of my lips about the trip being so boring and trite. on the contrary, it was awesome. miss adlaon, yours truly, angela tino, v-ann, kate, yza and siyel made it through nature's challenges FIRST. (we were the super seven top mounteneers of ii-therese, and i garnered the second place since ms. a had the first! nyohoho.) Those obstacles hindered us from making our way to the peak of our triumph -- being able to reach the refreshing waters from a certain river at the foot of Mt. Makiling after what seemed like a lot of dreadful hours of trekking through the slippery and muddy pathways. i slipped only twice, and i wasn't even that muddied yet.

but before that, we had our stop over in Petron, and tino and i bought from starbucks. mga pasaway na bata talaga. i just slept at her lap throughout the trip. i was dizzy back then, and ate ara was right the night before. dapat pala nagbreakfast ako. ayan tuloy. i was all woozy during the trip. (hindi ko pa nga nakita si BREADSTIX... :'c

another reason of this ultimate bliss i am experiencing right now's BREADSTIX_o5. she beginning to grow more beautiful each day. people assume that i am too much for the likes of her and her uber "cool" mates. *sigh*. i dunno what got into me that i got so into her lately. (so much for a person who hates girls crushing on mooncake_xxii who, by the way, was so yesterday for me... i'll just let him and dana oreo have the fun they truly deserve together.) i really like BREADSTIX. dammit. obviously, she's outta my league. but how can i win when she keeps dragging me in? haay. fuck life. but i shall savor these moments with her while they last. (telephone conversation... hahahaa! ultimate bliss! and the door knob thing... *giggles*) she has touched my fondest hope of having an inspiration or motivation to study harder. and that, i now am doing.

the last but definitely not the least rationale of this unexplainable satisfaction in my life was the convocation. i thought i'll suck, once again, like i did in the first quarter. i even cried this morning because i thought i'll ruin my but of course, clean report card record (not having grades of 70's) because of that damn trigonometry. BUT SURPRISINGLY, I DID NOT.

astoundingly, i was even one of the top 15 in our class. dude, 3 subjects lang ang bumaba sakin, at mga 2 points lang ang binaba nila. most of my grades went really up with 3 or 4 points. lahat ng grades ko, above 85 na talaga, except for the pain in the neck trigonometry. i was like, "shit! no freakin way!!!" then my classmates started crowding over me, congratulating me for a job well done. i almost cried myself because of happiness. dana oreo was also one of the top 15 in class, and truly, we have fully fulfilled the promise we made weeks ago beside the pond in the Eco Park. yay. i feel like i finally deserved the priviledge of being a Tacker. haay. konti nalang, and i can finally set foot into the bleacher of victory. i can do this. impossible is nothing.

the fool, wretched fool that i was. kaya ko naman pala. why hadn't i started gathering up the guts to garner these achievements earlier? maybe i only had opened up my eyes late. but now, let these happenings be worthy for the comeback of Kimnar: The Vengeance.

"Only the man who has experienced the ultimate despair is the only one capable of experiencing ultimate bliss."

Get to know the REAL you by crash_and_burn
Your Name
You Are A:	Jazz Cat
Your Favorite Band/Song	The Beatles - Penny Lane
You Like To Read:	Fiction novels
You Firmly Believe In:	Love at first sight
Everyone Thinks You Are:	A complete loser
You Were Conceived:	By immaculate conception
You Will Marry:	A respectable person

Quiz created with MemeGen!

2004-11-09T02:54:00.000-08:00

pain.
i can do it if i only want to. i'm better than anyone else. impossible is nothing. i can do it. from now on, things will go our way.

Which Emily Strange are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

~~happy_o9.~~

2004-11-08T02:18:00.000-08:00

the return of the vengeance.

I do not know how to start this post in a decorous approach, but one thing is for certain (call it inept or whatever, but this is what I feel like blurting out): I think I have missed blogging so much that I cannot even sleep at night, thinking, "How the hell am I supposed to update this dumb-ass thing if my cursed laptop cannot even surf its way through the world wide web?!" thank god I have made an effort once and for all to make my way to this humble internet cafe to post a blog entry. Weeks ago, my dumb laptop just stopped connecting to the internet through DSL, and without knowing why, I just settled for it. I can do nothing, to break out such inevitable circumstance (not unless my mother would now pay the telephone bills). Sigh.

I can sense that you do not solicit me for any news whatsoever, bloggie, but whether you like it or not, I shall pelt you with hearsays. Our intramurals just paved their way last November 03-05, and our batch, the sophomores, sucked at every single event (not counting the championship place we garnered in darts, though). And I'm not exaggerating this. Our batch is not capable of gaining tons of awards during intramurals. Face it, you sophomores reading my blog right about now. We suck. Our ideas, even though adhered all together for the upgrading of our performances, still aren't enough. Again, I'll say this: (including myself) WE ALL SUCK.

Oh, well. Like people always say… "Better luck next time." Right. You and your not-so-reassuring words of crap.... I doubt we'll even place second place during the cheering-thingy event.

I now have found new inspirations, and they count up to three. They are herbivore_o5, Christmas and itty. Herbivore_o5 was the least person the blissmasters would take into consideration that I would ever like; yet I fell for her "kind soul". People say she looks slow and that her impulses are not that fast, but I couldn't care less; she rocks bigtime for me. (mwahahaa. so much for a mooncake_xxii lover...) I cannot give any further details about Christmas and Itty here, though. Capable I am not to think of apt descriptions on how I can depict the charms of these two. But one thing is for certain: I only noticed them during the past intramurals. *wink*

we're going to have our EOP (educational outbound program) this Friday, and I cannot wait for it anymore. Angela_teenoe will be my partner, and together, we shall face the challenges and obstacles nature prepared for us.

the upcoming Makabayan Congress sucks. There's no point giving a damn on not being able to go there. It's just not worth my time. I'd rather have 8 consecutive hours of geometry with Lucy Per than waste my time trying to solve puzzles pertaining to the past presidents of the Philippines.

so there, reader. Savor this lengthy post for you might be able to get another probably (I'm stressing this) next week. Until then, adieu.

By the way… Life doesn't seem to suck lately. I am proud to say that I have been HAPPIER than usual these past few days. I hope this will continue incessantly.

2004-11-02T21:41:00.000-08:00

superficial?

as someone's life gets better each day, mine gets worse. someone felt like he/she didn't have everything before, and now that person's aiming on the things (and persons) i have. and i tell you, it sucks. she sucks. they left me because of her. and now i'm bleeding. they don't know it since they are too busy fussing over that crap. can't she live her own life alone? argh. i hate it. hindi na naman ako tumatanaw ng utang na loob. no freakin way. this is so not me.

i don't want her to leave. yet i don't want her to take that easily the persons i've worked hard for in earning their trust. argh. dammit. ego trips are really not my thing.

(why can't i live my life without anyone present to ruin in even foe just a short while?)

2004-10-31T21:39:00.000-08:00

the vengeance.

the parish involvement yesterday didn't actually suck as i thought it would. that was because of ate tere's presence. at first, no one recognized me as i entered the room full of boys, but later on, she did, at it doesn't seem to suck the freshies there sucked. they asked the cell numbers of the acolyte members. kaya hindi namin sila kinilala as paulinians.

so ate tere and i joined the choir later on. then these choir members sorta smiled at us in an unfriendly manner, especially when i tried playing the bass guitar (the warmth- by incubus). there was one particular choir member who really looked like Lucy Per Rowkee, only that andami nyang bulok na ngipin. damn her. if she only knew what i can do... bet she doesn't even know what "debauchery" is or even how to blog...

i know i suck. she need not rub it in.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN, guys...

Muti-Faceted Gif:
Quizilla.

2004-10-30T19:01:00.000-07:00

eternal damnation.

story telling time:

2 reasons why i am so dismayed today...

1. SOME PEOPLE ARE JUST DAMN SELFISH. ~ tino, kc, dana_oreo and i conducted a special activity last october 28 - an activity that enhanced our interacting skills. we had a trick-or-treating escapade at the faculty room during recess time.

we prepared for this quest with the steadfast certainty that we will gain a lot of sweets from our "beloved" teachers in no time. great expectations were what we had especially from ms. adlaon, believing that, should all the rest of the faculty members laugh at us while we're at it, she would be at our aid and give us what we came for. trying to look as presentable as possible, we even drew pictures on art papers with the caption, "trick-or treat: give us something good to eat" below. i drew a some sort of "scary doggie" with fangs, while tino did the traditional bed sheet ghost with the grumpy face. we drew dana_oreo an "eyebrow-ful" pumpkin with green eyes, then kC, with a punk rocker witch. then we set forth on our journey in search for tons of candies.

but things didn't go out as expected. the teachers whom we approached just gave us smiles, as if to pelt at our faces the fact that they think we're just horsing around. we asked candy from ms. rowkee, but she jus shot at us her trademark "Heh!" and grinned evilly at us. so did ms. "new research teacher", ms. cua, ms. nicolas, ms. jelly and the rest of the faculty members. only ms. caccam was kind-hearted enough to have given us the things we crave for the most. when she knew of our wants, she immediately rushed inside the faculty room and rummaged through her things in search of sweets. even her diskettes fell off her table. then she gave us these mint candies with the silvery wrappers (one of which i consumed), then we ran off to our classroom to spread the good news. unlike the other teachers, ms. caccam was truly heaven-sent.

2. SOME PEOPLE ARE JUST PLAIN STUPID. ~ so i'm going to have my parish involvement today, not in front of the PC, but with numerous children and people i barely even know. that stupid priest told me that i will join the choir and lectoring seminar this afternoon. dammit.

|| life truly sucks. ||

2004-10-29T19:54:00.000-07:00

heavenly hell.

things and i hate the most.

1. crying my heart out on a certain person who tells me that she cares yet doesn't act on it.
2. batch practices without satisfying outputs (and people who doesn't even open their mouths during practices while i waste my precious low voice away voicing out our cheers).
3. people who think and act like they have everything at the palm of their hands.
4. nagging mothers who had nothing to do other than notice their children's imperfections.
5. annoying brothers who had nothing to do with their worthless lives but to stick their noses up to people's businesses.
6. the fact that some things and people are just out of my reach and league.
7. illiterate people who spell the word "strength" as "strenght".
8. people who take everything (and everyone) away from me.
9. snobbish assholes.
10. mga bastos na freshmen with whose attitude towards some people i cannot tolerate.
11. teachers who guess their student's grade (whether they deserve it or not), stupid mentors, and teachers (once again) who never took us seriously while we had our "trick-or-treat: give us something good to eat" activity.
12. nelly furtado
13. people who pretend that they coiuld play the bass guitar very well.
14. domineering people who, in real life, doesn't even know anything at all.
15. people who feel like they are the fairest of them all.
16. people who insult me.
17. myself.
18. my life.
19. they way i act in front of many people.
20. in short, everything about myself and the world around me.

(IF YOU CAN'T LOWER HEAVEN, RAISE HELL.)

2004-10-27T03:43:00.000-07:00

change.

so... now i'm totally pissed off with my blog. now, its template sucks. i have tried within all my power to remedy its presently deformed layout (as you can see right now) because of a reason which i do not know and do not wish to have the knowledge of. i am already tired of repairing this stupid blog every now and then, but to no avail. i guess someone's hacking through it and, whoever you are, you suck. go to hell.

why can't a lot of people still understand the concept that i am well known for my incredible mood swings? i got "pissed off" to a lot of people because of this and vice-versa. i'll just let them be for a while. pagod na rin ako sa process na ako nalang yung laging nahihirapan...

HAPPY 27, teenoe and eloize...

2004-10-26T03:32:00.000-07:00

on the other side.
life had always sucked in my case, but not this day (i guess). why? let me give you some (very few) reasons...

1. after the long, boring hours of waiting for the other sisters of SPC to arrive (they all count up to four hundred), the most anticipated arrival of sr. angele made me scream my intestines out. i missed her so much, and seeing her again made me feel very much lucky to have her as our former school principal. i pity the freshies and the other new people in the campus, though. they have to suffer under remy's dominating power now, and never got to experience being under sr. angele's warm and motherly guidance. mwahahahaha.

2. my girlfriend, nica_o1, and i were very sweet a while ago. i fanned her because she said, "pawis", and she smiled sweetly at me. shet. heartthrob potential. then before we had our painful separation, she gave me once again a sweet smile on the face and a warm and tight hug. awwww. i love you, nica!

3. elmo's so damn pretty, and i suck because i have noticed it only now. actually, nung first quarter pa, and only eka knows na naging crush ko siya nung first quarter. but because of Fe14's comeback and xxii's arrival in my life, i forgot all about her. but now... she will be loved.

2004-10-25T02:32:00.000-07:00

pretenses.

i am most certainly proud to say that i overcame the hurt of last night. it ached my heart so much to speak against someone i promised before that i'd protect whenever i can. we can never get things right. we don't know how to express our own feelings. we both suck. but i suck more. i'm so sorry if i ain't the best friend of your dreams. i pity you whenever you pretend to accept me for who i really am and not for what i can do. you need not do so. i am indeed useless, anyway. you need not rub it in. you not choosing me over anyone or anything says it all. i choose you above everything. i'm so sorry for being such a crap in your life. i'm sorry if my tears aren't enough for you. i know i'm not deserving to earn your time, respect and love as a best friend. i'm so sorry.

tino's now a tacker, but i think she still loves her friends from her former kada. we are not depriving her of the right to do so. pero we have this uncertainty that she really wanted to be with us for keeps. mahirap din yung feeling mo panakip-butas lang kayo, di ba? that is so not right. anyway, welcome, paraisong tino. welcome to the world of bliss, ecstasy and debauchery.

we had a batch practice from 1:30 pm-4:10 pm. my whole body ached because of that. we learned a couple of weird hand movements. then i think we're ready to go. i saw xxii today. he was still as cute as always. but he can never be mine. and it sucks. he saw me enter the chapel kanina. nyohoho.

happy_25, zchy2 and her bebe.

ma. veronica, a prep student from SPUQ, is a very cute kid. i like her. kami na nga daw eh. she said yes to my proposal na, and our number's #01. i liked the way she said, "i wanna hold it!" to my flaglets and the way she smiled at me and touched my hand. aww.

(i pretend to enjoy life like everybody else does.)

2004-10-24T22:56:00.000-07:00

numb.

maybe i was really wrong to have trusted a lot of people easily. some are just not worth my trust. my best friend left me, and i trusted her. she never considered me as one, anyway, or maybe it was i who never felt like she actually did. i don't know. i'm useless, and she need not rub it in. i cried because she cried, and she didn't comfort me. i had my reasons on why i did the same when she herself cried, but does she have her own? i hate her, yet i just can't go on with it. nagpapakamartyr na naman ako. i'm totally used to it, anyway.

i can't forget everything about him, even though i tried so hard to do so. i like him so much, i can't get him out of my head, and it sucks bigtime. kailangan ba talagang ipagpilitan ko sarili ko sa iba to forget him, just because people say it's unhealthy?

my eyes now burn from exhaust as my heart does.

(i used to be strong, but now i think i can hold on no more.)

2004-10-23T23:35:00.000-07:00

mirror.

we just had our CEP, and among the numerous children we were asked to choose from to teach our respective subjects (mine and oreo's happened to be english), dana oreo and i found ourselves, for once, in front of mark anthony, a barangay valencia kid who doesn't have the faintest idea of what the english language is. we taught him the different kinds of sentences and even asked him to construct sentences in english on his own. he was a very attentive boy, a slow-learner, though. but through our help, he might be able to be one of the finest students (or BLAZERS... right, oreo?) ever to date. his famous line? "Please buy me a spaghetti in Jollibee."

we had the chance to meet jane marie and a couple of quite illiterate yet good kids too. lando was the best among them.

i feel so bad, not coming along with tino and jocelyn to centerpoint to buy "the stuffs", and it was all because of my selfish desires of being able to play the guitar well through clariane and angge's help. i said i was sorry, and she said it was okay. babawi nalang ako sa susunod. i'm so sorry, tino. gomen.

chin, jam, joyce, angge, clariane and i had a blast in joyce's house. little brother was quite shy at first, pero nung tumagal-tagal na, naging walang-hiya na. nyohoho. we played her electric guitar (to which i've grown fond of), jam's acoustic guitar and joyce's organ. we videotaped ourselves and it turned out as weird as we all are. we ordered some chicken mcnuggets and fries from mcdonalds', though our budgets, at first, were not enough to pay the delivery guy. so puro barya binayad ni joyce. haha.

so alam ko na sa guitar yung original prankster, spongebob, the reason, in the end, and many more songs. all these courtesy of my 2 brothers, angge and clariane, and my "kapa" skills. the three of us even had fun over the kotex napkin leaflet.

i wanna meet kate papa. i want to own an electric guitar soon. i want to sleep early. i want him.

(I cry whenever i'm alone and when nobody ses me with the pain that i'm in.)

http://images.google.com/images?q=tbn:5NvIc1Go95MJ:www.anime-revenge.net/images2/esca3_30-van-sad.jpg

2004-10-20T03:05:00.000-07:00

totally bushed.

= repaired our "kubol" and the "backround-thingy" posted near our classroom... = practiced the dance to be performed on friday, cleaned the classroom, unintentionally sucked at a cL quiz; aced in a trigonometry make-up quiz, roved around the makabayan exhibit... = parade of the "kubols" of the different sections... mass..

and i guess this is where i'll start.

i sat at the very back row during the mass with a girl i fondly call as "joan" or "owa" as my seatmate. while we were talking about her alter-ego's reputation as our school's "keyboarding prodigy", i saw a bunch of teachers sitting beside the empty seats beside me. the one nearest to me was the new pretty-ful teacher, mrs.zulueta, and beside her left were three more empty chairs, then my seat. i gripped the hand of kC (who happened to be at my back) tightly with the anticipation that xxii might actually sit beside me. so much to my surprise, i instinctively shot my hand into my pocket and gripped my glow-in-the-dark rosary, reciting a silent prayer that "may God allow him to sit beside me and let me have a hold of his hand, just this once". waiting, i kept silent for what seemed like five minutes.

before the parade started, i saw him sit not beside me first, but on the seat in front of the seats where the company of mrs. zulueta used to sat on. (wow.. this can make a real good tongue twister) i sighed in dismay then looked at my classmates who happened to be shooting weird stares at me, saying "nar! malapit lang si mooncake!" i knew from the very start that sitting with him on the same row and with only two seats apart isn't going to set foot in the gardens of reality. then, i prayed again.

but i guess i was wrong. he actually sat beside me next, courtesy of another math teacher. we looked at each other at the face then i looked at my classmates. they were all like, "nar! nar! nar!!!" "nar, sana mag "our father" na!" "nar, ayickee!" and i was like, "uhm.. shut up nga.." nyohohoo. he sat beside me for a long period of time. finally, i thought. i can now have a hold of his hand. (even though he actually had an inhaler with him.. may sipon siya.. aww..) then, once again, i held my rosary, thanking the Big Man above for showering his blessings to me this day. it tried to hide my giggles under my certified "emotionless face". and i worked. he never noticed a thing.

but the magical moment didn't last long. SHE came, and ruined everything. SHE sat beside him and shattered my dreams. from the looks of it, i think SHE'S flirting with my xxii. she sucks. but what can i do? i have to behave. i can't let him see me being unruly. i just vented out my anger on owa's arm and on kC's hand.

SHE, by the way, left for a short while, but came back quickly. akala ko pa naman, she'd be gone for good. fuck her. she ruined my moment. (we have decided to call HER nga pala, "PALIKPIK".

am i not deserving to have a hold of ultimate bliss? haven't i suffered long enough?

(i thought that i had everything figured out...)

2004-10-18T03:38:00.000-07:00

masked.

i lied to myself again. i smiled, laughed and enjoyed life like everyobody else did a while ago. but knowing that i was not true to myself while doing those stuffs made me as sickening as averno's pungent breath. i sucked, and still do. i tried to forget the fact i cannot forget xxii... that i cannot keep my eyes from staring twice at Fe14... that everything would be alright from now on...

in short, i tried to forget about reality today.

2004-10-17T13:49:00.000-07:00

rewind.

HAPPY_17, KOJIKI(xxii)!!! i, surely, haven't forgotten all about you and choose not to. you have been an important person in my life who brought out the best in me for the past months... grabe.. 2 months pa lang pala akong head-over-heels sayo.. nyohoho.

(that's xxii and me. hahaa.)

i have finally decided to once again pursue with my guitar lessons as soon as possible. not to kill time or to be the master of the bands, though. i'm doing this to impress myself. that i can actually hone some of my talents. that i can actually do something extra-curricular. but above all, because of Fe14.

she said she'll also have guitar lessons this summer... and she also said that people who play the bass guitars are way cooler than those who actually play as lead guitarists. then she told me if i could play the bass guitar, mapapabilib ko siya. and that's why i chose to study again... for her...

(i shall try to master using you, oh sacred bass guitar.. only for Fe14..)

2004-10-16T01:08:00.000-07:00

happiness, part 2.

life sucks right about now because of 14 reasons...

1. i failed in my trigonometry exam. 2. i'm going to have long line of 7's in my report card. 3. i'm not good enough for anyone. 4. i can't keep someone from committing a suicide. 5. i can't keep myself from thinking about committing suicide. 6. i'm not sure about everything i feel. 7. i don't know how to ask for pardon. 8. i am not capable of keeping my friends. 9. i have a lot of unanswered prayers. 10. i am afraid to take risks. 11. i keep on waiting in vain for lots of things to happen. 12. i can't have my xxii. 14. i am unhappy.

holding on- saliva. the day's reality around the bend. pain and misery my only friend i raise a toast and I salute the end. six feet in the ground is where the living begins. i've created a world that is devoid of love. i'm praying to God and up to Heaven above. my heart and my soul have turned to push and shove. it's enough to kill me but it's never enough. i got to get on with living or get the hell on with dying. shove a million dollars in my pocket but there ain't no pacifying me. anyone can see, what's happening to me. my life's out of reach of my arms but I'm holding on. i'm living in a dream, and no one hears me scream. i'm breaking at the seams of life but I'm holding on.

What Ragnarok Character Should You Be?
Quiz by Angelhalo

2004-10-14T04:01:00.000-07:00

choices.

HaPpY 14...

meeting 'reynolds' was one heck of an experience. he was a really great guy (not to mention, obidient). his cool disposition urged us to kiss him through the zip-lock plastic case (he even got dana_oreo to kiss him... hahaa). we didn't want to literally "explore through his innards", but we must, otherwise, we'd end up being failures in our biology class. so when we started to "attack him" by pinning his arms and legs and cutting his skin up to reveal his heart beneath his tiny sternum, my groupmates and i let out a deep sigh of sadness. surely, we won't forget reynolds (though we already got his innards toyed up), being the cool frog that he is. kudos to you, sweetie... you just had a job well done for us.

i lied to my mom last night, telling her that i needed a bouquet of flowers (white roses, to be exact.. or maybe tulips) because "there's going to be an institutional mass tommorow". but the truth was, i just wanted to give those to Fe14. my mom was keen enough not to have been convinced that easily, but i literally begged and pleaded, so she finally gave in. i wanted to give Fe14 flowers because of a very valuable reason - "wala lang." (i have stopped italicizing Tagalog words... it just tires me.) when i arrived at school, i didn't give the bouquet of red (yes, RED.. not the white roses and tulips that i expected..) to Fe14 right away. i lost all my damned guts. i gave the flowers to her during our lunch period (i actually placed the bouquet of red flowers and the tulip jam brought for me to give to Fe14 secretly in her bag with a note that said, "happy 14 po.."). people were like, "whoa!! nar, hah? yickee...", but i just shot back at them a faint smile, as if to tell them that i'm just being forced to do these things. and i really am. napipilitan lang talaga ako. when i gave those flowers to her, i fet like i have this thing called, "identity crisis". i felt dirty. and when she thanked me for the flowers later on, i felt dirtier. i sucked.

- "my son" attempted to commit suicide again. he opted that he'd jump from the plaza down to the quadrangle, but i told her to wait at least until the 27th of the month to do so. surprisingly, she listened. - alam na ni "levesville" that she's actually levesville. i asked her to stop "my son" from slashing herself again with the use of yeye's scalpel blade. she did. but i guess she wasn't convincing enough.

people tell me that i have to forget what i really feel about xxii because they think it's unhealthy for a student to actually fall in love with her mentor. but i do not wish to. yet people insist that i must. i tried, and Fe14 was my only healthy alternative. she's all that. but i lost all my courage to court her. i felt dirty.

- borrowed: "the count of monte cristo" - cried: a while ago while listening to jan's cd's. i remembered xxii kasi.

brought to you by Quizilla

2004-10-13T03:06:00.000-07:00

immorality.

we just had a special assembly a while ago. our beloved principal told us that there are many "immoralities" going on in our school. girl-to-girl reationships... that's what they are. our school, according to her, is now known not because of the fine education it serves to others. otherwise, it is known because of the "intimate friendships" between girls going on in it. i was like... not affected at all. i have not engaged myself into such immorality just yet. now i'm scared to puch through my plan of "doing something" to Fe14. i want to forget all about xxii. just the thought of him never to become mine drills a hole in my septum. i know that courting Fe14's not the solution to get away with my undying (and not to mention UNHEALTHY) affection for xxii. mahirap gawin, but i must. i must forget all about him now. i don't care about remi's sermons... ..i'm doing what i want to do...

later...

okay... so i got 58/100 in our filipino examinations... ... i wonder what the he happened to me.. this is not what i was.. napariwara na ang buhay ko ngayon.. i now regret it deeply.. it was my choice to let my life be like this, anyway.. i am to blame. anyway... today's not that depressing than the other days that had passed by... we didn't have geometry classes.. .. and that's what makes it extra speciaL. tino licked the tip of his orange highlighter pen... .. then curled up tightly a wire on her finger... (it literally almost died.) .. then lastly, ate glue (again). the cheerdancers were great, including tino's 27.. too bad my Fe14's body (when dancing) can be resembled to a bamboo stem being shaken.. ang gwapo ni xxii... i passed by him a couple of times already.. i lent Fe14 my hanky a while ago.. she thanked me.. now i'm beginning to get bored.. ...

2004-10-12T03:42:00.000-07:00

hapiness.

reason/s on why i am (and should be) happy: 1. i see my xxii everyday... 2. i am always (i'm stressing this) eating good food with good company... 3. i get to do whatever i want to do at home.. 4. i can always surf the net anytime without a nagging mom to ask me to stop.. 5. god listens to me..

reasons on why i am NOT (and should not be) happy: 1. i can never have xxii... 2. i am not good enough for anyone.. 3. god listens to me.. yet do not act on the "UNMATERIAL" things i ask of him.. 4. i am paranoid.. 5. i am now a believer of tino's motto: "Suicide isn't always the last resort.. it is the first.. God is the last." 6. i am stupid 7. xxii's girlfriend's still alive *hahaa...* 8. i am confused about everything... 9. i don't want to hurt anyone but i must in order to relieve my pains... 10. i am NOT ALL THAT...

now tell me. am i supposed to be happy?

i wish to be deprived of hapiness..

hapiness is nothing without xxii..

** Happy Gx12...**

2004-10-10T03:52:00.000-07:00

the kim nar chronicles.

september 06, 2004 = studied in advance for the exams = xxii finally came to school... yay... = living rosary: he participated in it. he looked so good from afar! gwapo! = we went to the library... jam returned the book she borrowed... xxii was beside her, borrowing this certain book... he's hands were pale... jam said hi to him... and he greeted back in return... (*aww!*) = nadapa ako sa harapan nya while reaching out for the cap of tino's highlighter (in slow motion). he was gently giggling while walking past me... he saw me.. argh.. = it was raining... real hard... (zzzzz) = *hassle* gotta study real hard for the exams the next day..

september 07, 2004 = first day of examinations: computer, geometry, ap, cL (*hassle*) believe me.. i sucked at 'em... = xxii was talking to someone on the phone... wonder who that is... = they played badminton (in the gym)... i saw him.. he was cute... 'see bench' was running for the shuttle cock in a weird way... = ang loner ko ngayon... they left me... alone. = hindi ako pinapansin ni besty... but then again, though i'm sad about it... i'm used to it naman na, eh.. = gotta study for tomorrow's exams... though i know i'll suckat 'em again.

september 08, 2004 = i came up with a theme song for xxii and i... DANCING IN THE MOONLIGHT by TOPLOADER. = i'm so disappointed... i literally sucked at all my exams today. babagsak ako sa biology, research, english... especially in TRIGONOMETRY... fuck. = xxii's at his cutest form when he's asleep. awww... his face looks serene enough to lull me to sleep, too.. = okay. so the 'beautiful muse' of our section kinda "caressed" xxii on the other side of the room... damn her.

september 09, 2004 = last day of examinations... i did a pretty good job back then. = "heneral osmalik"and i fought. *sob* = he wasn't present! dammit! = we went to kC's house... an advanced birthday bash was held... we had fun.. we were addicted to kC's webcam and took pictures of our kada the whole day.. bonding with yza... sandara and kelly the dogs... we had a blast...

OCTOBER 10, 2004: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BLISSMASTER KC ALCANTARA...

the basilisk chronicles

basilisks, according to written ancient records, are creatures armed with pungent breaths that could kill you in a fraction of a second. a basilisk surely can be tagged as a monster... unlikely to be a human being. but the "basilisk" i know's far more better than the real thing in terms of exteriority aspects. (though she's still monstrous in some other nasty ways...) she is a human being, in this case. i had been her victim for so many times now, and all i can do whenever she "opens up her portal to a pungent abyss" is cover up my nose and run away right then and there. here's my whole thought about the matter... this, by the way, was manufactured by my Shakesperean friend, dana_oreo.

"i am very fortunate to have met one of the characters in harry potter and the chamber of secrets movie, the second installment of the harry potter series: the BASILISK.

one thing we must ask ourselves: what is a basilisk??"

"Basilisk, or Basilisko in tagalog, is a giant serpent that can cause instant death by looking at you straight in the eyes. Its PUNGENT BREATH can also finish you off instantly.

let me tell you my encounter with Ms. Basilisko of the Harry Potter Series. The basilisk and i had a little chat and she told me things that she (the basilisk they used in the HP movie was a girl, by the way) doesnt normally tell her talent manager. i had to avoid her penetrating stare and i even had to wear a face mask to avoid inhaling her FATAL BREATH..."

"... Basilisko and i did not emerge as friends, though... it wasnt really about her stinky breath that annoyed me... it was the fact that ms. basilisk told me right in front of my face (figuratively) that my beloved KOJIKI was an assWHOLE and that there a lot of cuter guys than him.. damn her...

...but of course i must not let her get the better of my temper... she is simply a stinker who, obviously, has no taste in men and cannot control her own hygiene... smellies like her should not be paid any attention to...

Lord, please enlighten her mind that she may learn to put in to GOOD use the products of technology and chemistry... namely MOUTHWASHES..."

What Color are your wings?(Mainly for Girls)Beautiful Pix!
brought to you by Quizilla

2004-10-05T03:51:00.000-07:00

obviously, you're out of my league.

as i entered the same old classroom after our computer classes a while ago, i thought that i'd start this day, once again, without having even just a glimpse of your face. but i guess i jumped into conclusions. joyce, chin and big bro angge stormed inside the classroom and shook my body with all their might, saying, "nar! nandyan na si mooncake!!! nakasalubong namin siya!"

i went like... "sh!t!!! really?!" then rushed outside the classroom. i did not see you right away, but i felt your vibes. i even suspected the three of them, thinking that they just said that to make me stop slashing myself for the fact that i really missed you. pero i realized that they'd never lie to me, especially when it comes to stuff about you. so i just roamed around to search for you.

recess time. as usual, we were eating in the theresians' place. i ate my usual burger then stared at the corridor near IMC and actually saw you walking along with your usual "wonder shirt". i went like "sh!t!!!" again, and rushed to the place where you have been walking on, then saw you drinking on the drinking fountain. i was really nervous back then. you made me happy once again. i love you. don't let me miss you again this much, ever.

pero hindi ko nakita yung bag mo in "the room" a while ago. and i never saw you throughout the whole day. but i'm sure, there's still tomorrow. i know you'd come to school the next day. i'll pray for you, that whatever's bothering you right now would perish, even temporarily. i know you'd never let me down.

P.S. i don't want to develop feelings again for "Fe14". i really don't. but i can't help but think she's so cute. and i'm proud to say that.. that something that's holding me back from admiring her helplessly again's YOU.

2004-10-04T03:47:00.000-07:00

loneliness.

you're still not present. it has been so long since i last saw your face. because of this, i shall continue slashing my innards out of my right hand. you made me do this. you have broken my heart. i miss you so much that i'm now wasting my precious life away. i wish you'd be back soon... i'm nothing without you. she, on the other hand, had kept me waiting in vain last night. pati ba naman ikaw? wala na kayong ginawa kundi magpaasa ng mga tao. but i don't hate you guys. i still love you. i'm now so tired. the pain from taking school notes's starting to kick in. and the pain all of you have inflicted in my heart's longing to free themselves in the form of slashing my own flesh. too exaggerating? nah.

P.S. the entrepreneurial fair, in our part, was a complete success. we were th first ones to close our stall down. yehey.

i don't wanna wait in vain for your love.

2004-10-03T03:46:00.000-07:00

a dimunitive phase of tranquility.

i just came home from SM. even for just a short span of time, i was able to relax a little, kahit na medyo nahihirapan pa rin akong tanggalin sa isip ko yung mga problema ko. while eating chicken strips a while ago at the foodcourt, i took a closer look at the wound at my right hand. it wasn't deep enough. i plan to make the cut longer and deeper, and i don't see the point on why i should be doing this. he should be coming back tomorrow. he has to. or else i'll slash my left hand next. people say that i'm exagerrating. i want to tell them that, "good thing it's just my hand that i'm slashing... not my wrist. i could end up in the cemetery doing that." i don't want them to stick their noses on my business. they've got their own lives to live. walang pakialamanan.

i wasn't able to buy a chemistry book. damn it. i still have to complete my other requirements and notes. hassle. stress. stress. hassle.

2004-10-02T03:46:00.000-07:00

hushed suicide.

they say i've gone completely insane. maybe it's because i've finally resorted into hurting myself because of missing 'xxii'. during the first friday mass, after being tired for watching a teacher fall asleep in the middle of a place where everybody could see her (the bleacher), i tried to think of something to do wherein i can vent out even just one-fourth of my frustrations and depression. and that's when i thought of whipping out my g-tec .o3 pen (just like someone I KNEW did) and carving out a very long and deep line on my hand. and i did. big brother, who happened to be sitting beside me, saw me sweating myself out and doing this. she saw my kinda bleeding hand and tried to take the g-tec from my grasp. but i was firm in handling it and eventually ended up doing the same procedures again and again throughout the day. no one can stop me. now my hand hurts. i plan to do some more. should people ask me what happened to my hand, i shall tell them, "mind your own beeswax".

this is the only way that i can release my frustrations out. i'm so sorry if ever i disappointed someone. god knows what a frustrated heart can do. and that frustrated heart's mine.

we watched the school play "women with a heart" last night (7:00-10:00 pm). i enjoyed it. it was the first play in my entire paulinian life that i watched with my best friend (which made it extra special). the play was great... even sr. remi's in it. there was a cute kid in the play (the eyeglassed-one). i named her "Barbe"... and 'jacqueline' rocks bigtime.

how i wished he was there, though. life's not worth living without him.

roses by outkast Caroline! Caroline! All the guys would say she's mighty fine But mighty fine only got you somewhere half the time And the other half either got you cursed out, or coming up short Yeah, now dig this, even though You'd need a golden calculator to divide The time it took to look inside and realize that Real guys go for real down to Mars girls, yeah! I know you'd like to thank your shit don't stank But lean a little bit closer See that roses really smell like poo-oo-ooo Yeah, roses really smell like poo-oo-ooo Caroline! See she's the reason for the word "bitch" I hope she's speeding on the way to the club Trying to hurry up to get to some Baller or singer or somebody like that And try to put on her makeup in the mirror And crash, crash, crash.. into a ditch! (Just Playing!) She needs a golden calculator to divide The time it took to look inside and realize that Real guys go for real down to Mars girls, yeah! Well she's got a hotty body, but her attitude is potty When I met her at a party she was hardly acting naughty I said "Would you call me?" She said "Pardon me, are you ballin'?" I said "Darling, you sound like a prostitute pausing" Oh so you're one them freaks, get geeked at the sight of ATM receipts But game been peeped, dropping names she's weak Trickin' off this bitch is lost Must take me for a geek a quick way to eat A neat place sleep, a rent-a-car for a week, a trick for a treat Now go on the raw sex, my AIDS test is flawless Regardless, we don't want to get involved with no lawyers And judges just to hold grudges in a courtroom I wanna see ya support bra not support you! Better come back down to Mars Girl, quit chasin' cars What happens when the dough get so low Bitch, you ain't that fine No way.. no way.. no way Bitch, stupid ass bitch Old punk ass bitch, old dumbass bitch A bitch is a bitch, just a bitch

You represent... anger.
What feeling do you represent?
brought to you by Quizilla

2004-09-30T03:45:00.000-07:00

escape.

i kept telling myself that i'm now immuned to the pain of seeing my friends have a hold of the thing i strived to attain the most before. but whenever i think about it and what happened, i feel that i suck. should i have kept my tremendous focus in my grasp at that time, i would've concentrated in raising the right board which speaks of my reaL answer. (semi-finals: biology) i can't say that it was xxii's fault. no. he doesn't have anything to do with these. and i don't blame him. i blame me. i suck. and i'm so sorry. gomen nasai.

1. wherever you are, you kleptomaniac, you... you'd better bring my biology notebook back, or i will be forced into using drastic measures and investigate on your real identity, whoever you are. 2. yay. i'm goin home from school tomorrow at 9:00 pm... 3. i'm not guilty of anything at all. i shouldn't be scared. god knows i did nothing wrong. he knows. i know. eka knows. mia knows. 4. i hope that i'll be able to get a glimpse of xxii's face tommorow... he has only been gone for 2 days and yet, up tearing up apart...

i miss you by incubus To see you when I wake up, is a gift I didn't think could be real To know that you feel the same, as I do, is a Three-fold utopian dream You do something to me That I can't explain So would I be out of line, If I said I miss you. I see your picture, I smell your skin on, the empty pillow next to mine You have only been gone ten days, but already I am wasting away I know I'll see you again Whether far or soon But I need you to know, that I care.
Your eye color is dark blue. You rely on your logic
solely, and may have more mature interests than
many of your friends and family your age. You
can sometimes also be interverted and lonely
from a lack of understanding with people, and
can be rather frustrated with some types of
folke. Some may describe you as cold and
distant, and you are honest with how you feel
about things.

What Color Eyes Should You Have? ( With Anime Pictures ^-^ )
brought to you by Quizilla

2004-09-28T03:44:00.000-07:00

alleged innocence.

damn it. this day's the worst, ever. someone actually stole my biology notebook. she borrowed it without proper compensation. damn her, whoever has it right now. i want to strangle her right this instant. biro invented the ball point pen... .. but who the hell cares? i care about my bio notebook more. ang dami na talagang magnanakaw at nananakawan sa section namin. 'xxii' wasn't the one who spoke a while ago during the assembly. hindi rin ako ung nanalo kanina. god really loves me.. otherwise, he wouldn't be the one to announce my beautiful name if actually won those extra points. my ultimate goal today is to be able to have a hold on my biology notebook before dusk. but then again, i must look for it with filial piousness, like St. Therese. basta. if i ever find out who that kleptomaniac is... i'll drill a hole on her septum. she deserves to die. tapos people think that i did something which, actually, i really have not done, and do not have the guts to do. i hate this life... i'm beginning to lose everything i have. my love. time. friends. trust. sanity. i must gain them all back.

suicide seaside- weiss kreuz Sitting down on the street, gazing at the sea The burnt asphalt, the scent that pierces your nose The clear sweat, sinking into the chest The vanishing memory, I am disappearing Forcing open the declining window, beating down The sun light is in the way, holding your breath As long as I'm here The heart is a little dirty I am lonely, you said in a soft voice Couldn't see the proof in living Deep within the ocean, the memory that sleeps within Any light will be turned into a shadow On top of the seawall, looking up to the skies It was not blue enough to awaken the dream Time already knows Where I will perish, the end of the memory The inflecting sun Silently shifting to the night Lets go home, someone is singing a song The last sea where I disappear Me, who is alone As long as I am here The heart is a little dirty I am lonely, you said in a soft voice Couldn't see the proof in living Lets go home, someone is singing a song The last sea where I disappear

Your anime hair color is green.

What is your anime hair color?
brought to you by Quizilla

oo nga pala. mas pinili kong maging kasabay umuwi si bea kaysa kay xxii.

2004-09-27T03:43:00.000-07:00

dismay.

i cannot say that this day turned out to be a terrific one, but i can't also say that this day sucks. i dunno. mixed emotions compose this day today. i was really ecstatic to find out that our entrepreneurial fair has been cancelled (thanks to the utimate blissmaster) and that, despite of being unable to write my printed assignment in my biology notebook last night, i was able to answer the seatwork a while ago. we had double periods of swimming and i was able to master the swimming technique "gliding" for only ten minutes or so a while ago. but, so much for my happy ending, we're going to have a new chem teacher...

yup. i guess our beloved chem teacher with whom i've grown really fond of these days might have had plans of marrying her 'prince charming' this year. she has been absent for quite sometime now. today, mommy sor substituted her for us, but she said that a new chem teacher (a GUY! dammit!) would apply tomorrow and replace her, probably. i was like, "whoa! sana... si.... si... ano nalang..." but, again, so much for my happy ending, things didn't go my way today.

since when did things go my way, anyway?

by the way, before i forgot. we had our "promotion" of our products for our entrep fair a while ago, and i was (luckily...) assigned to mere maria's room. everybody inside was nice -- iv-maria themselves and the teacher, sir sy beng (who was kind enough to let us promote in his class) (^_^;) hahaa. but then again, i got a low grade. maybe it's because i was so tense back then that i wasn't abe to do a good promotion... so i promoted (once again) to margaret mary's (ms. A was the teacher..) i boosted up my self confidence and eventually ended up having quite a high grade.

ang aga umuwi ni "xxii" ko ngayon... kasabay pa nya yung isang teacher... argh... pero i got a closer look of him as i saw him down the corridors a while ago... sweet... ^_^; now i realize that my life's worth living for... because of him. pero i still won't stop fasting...

2004-09-25T03:42:00.000-07:00

the birds, the bees, and a bagua.

today probably would be the most tiring day of my entire sophomore life, but at least, this day, too, is worth all the energy being drenched from my body every single moment. chin (together with her uber cool mom), joyce, zche and i went to megamall to buy candies for our entrepreneurial fair (zche did some candy-hopping). no one really expected us to watch ~~FENG SHUI~~ today. good thing i brought many bucks with me, or else i would've ended up sitting outside the movie house, staring bankly at the stellar-theme-inspired ceiling. then we ate pizza and that's when jam entered the picture. the movie was terrific (not too shabby for a filipino horror movie). it got me screaming like an idiot and hiding myself in joyce's arm, trying to avoid the bloody scenes present in that movie. some people were over acting inside the movie house, though. i mean, doi... sumisigaw na sila agad kahit wala pang pinapakitang kahit anong nakakatakot. some people even laughed for reasons which i'd rather not know, or else i'll end up chucking buckets at them all day. there were also some people who said, "p***ng***ng direktor yan!!! makita ko lang yan.. and that proovoked chynna's mom from saying, "shut up nga!"

next stop's to my cousin's house. today's my uncle rolie's birthday, and, apparently, he's once again a year older (and wiser). i'm proud to say that i made the most out of the time i spent there. i learned new guitar chords from my cool cousin, Dij. (she even taught me the guitar intro of "The Reason"... awww...) again, it was a time well spent.

jam texted me a few hours ago, telling me that she cannot sleep because Lotus Feet's haunting her. i just gave her a not-so-reassuring *sigh* then told her, "if you want to be at peace yourself, let others be at peace as well." i think she got what i meant.

i enjoyed this day very much, but the fact that i still thought of mooncake_xxii while pursuing with these activities just made it mortifying.

You are Schroeder!

Which Peanuts Character are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

2004-09-23T03:41:00.000-07:00

the test.

INSTRUCTIONS:

1. Copy this whole list into your journal. 2. Bold the things that are true about you. 3. Whatever you don't bold are false.

01. When I was younger, I made some bad decisions 02. I don't watch much TV these days 03. I love broccoli 04. I love sleeping 05. I have loads of books 06. I once slept in a toilet 07. I love playing video games 08. I adore marijuana 09. I watch porn movies 10. I watch "One Tree Hill" 11. I like sharks 12. I love spiders 13. I was born without hair and I still have no hair 14. I like George W. Bush 15. People are cool 16. I have changed a lot mentally over the last month 17. I have a NISSAN and a pool 18. I have a lot to learn 19. I carry my knife everywhere with myself 20. I'm really, really smart 21. I've never broken someone's bones 22. I have a secret 23. I hate rain 24. I drink healthy juice 25. Punk rock music rules 26. I hate Bill Gates 27. I love Vietnamese food 28. I would hate to be famous 29. I am not a morning person 30. I have semi-long hair 31. I have short hair 32. I have potential 33. I'm pure Afghan 34. My legs are two different sizes I refuse to believe my legs are identical... 35. I have a twin 36. I wear those long ass socks 37. I can roll my tongue. 38. I like the way that I look 39. I'm obsessed with italian food 40. I know how to french braid 41. I can be pessimistic or optomistic whenever I want 42. I have a lot of mood swings 43. I skateboard/snowboard 44. I think that skateboarders are HOT 45. I'm in a band 46. I have talent (everybody has one) 47. I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have 48. I think that I'm popular 49. I am currently single 50. I can't swim 51. my favorite color is either blue, red, or white 52. I practically live in sweatshirts 53. I love to shop 54. I would classify myself as either punk or goth 55. I would classify myself as ghetto 56. I'm a prep, shop at hollister 57. I'm obsessed with my xanga. 58. I don't hate anyone 59. I know how to square dance 60. I have a unibrow 61. I'm completely embarassed to be seen with my mom 62. I have a cell phone 63. I believe in God. 64. I watch MTV on a daily basis. 65. I know how to play the tuba 66. I need coffee to live. (to say alive) 67. I have had a boyfriend before 68. I've rejected someone before 69. I currently like someone and they have no idea that I like them 70. I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life 71. I want to have kids when I get older 72. I have changed a diaper before 73. I've called the cops on a friend before 74. I bite my nails 75. I am a member of the Hilary Duff fan club 76. I'm not allergic to anything 77. I love broadway plays, and have been to at least 3 78. I have no idea who the 38th president was. (i believe there were only 13.. in here) 79. I plan on seeing Mary Kate and Ashley's new movie 80. I am completely shy around the opposite sex 81. I'm online 24/7 (sort of.. hehe) 82. I have at least 25 away messages saved 83. I have tried alcohol or drugs at a party 84. I loved Rush Hour 85. I've read all of the Harry Potter trilogy 86. If I were a dwarf, I would be dopey 87. When I was a kid I played with G.I. Joe 88. I dont mind country music 89. I would die for my friends 90. I think that Juicy Fruit is the best type of gum 91. I watch soap operas whenever I can 92. I'm obsessive and paranoid and extremely jumpy 93. I would love to be demi moore because ashton kutchers a major hottie (can it be kate bosworth? cause i would really want orlando bloom to be my boyfriend) 94. I love the Beatles.. they're classic 95. I know all the words to 'I'm a barbie girl' 96. Halloween is awesome because you get free candy. 97. I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it. 98. I have to fart 99. I want this damned thing to be over! 100. I'm happy.

2004-09-23T03:40:00.000-07:00

confusion.

i was completely confused at that time. i didn't know who to believe or what to believe. i was indeed responsible for my own actions. i lost something that might never, ever come back, yet gained nothing in return. nalilito na ko.

You are the most important person in his life. He
would do anything to see you smile. Actually,
he would be the PERFECT boyfriend. Always
getting lost in your eyes, always treating you
like a princes and always saying a joke to make
you laugh your head off while he smiles at your
hysteric laughter. Yup, he is the person you
were destined to fall in love with.

What kind of boyfriend would you have?(with pics and obviously for girls^^)
brought to you by Quizilla

2004-09-22T03:39:00.000-07:00

lingering soul.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY "SIMON PETER"...

today's the day... my "simon peter's" birthday... and now my fear of him being ten years older than me's come to reality. damn this life.

best wishes also to my hotshots_31, dana t. (it's her birthday today, too!) without her, my life would never have taken this blissful course. kudos to you, my sweetie. you're the best. thanks for everything.

happy birthdays also to tom felton, ate mela, and andrea bocelli. may al of you have more blissful birthdays to come.

we're now here in the intenet lab (as usual), and i'm assigned to research on the basic rules in playing badminton. then i designed jewel's costume for the upcoming "adopt-a-scientist" contest.

then i just realized that i'm not good enough for anyone.

after what seemed like two hours of roaming around the school, pacing back and forth to the places i've been and checking "the room" every now and then, i've finally drawn this accurate conclusion...

HE was worth the wait.

You represent... hope. You're quite a daydreamer and can be a hopeless
romantic. You enjoy being creative and don't
mind being alone at times. You have goals, and
know what you want in life... even if they are
a little far fetched.

What feeling do you represent?
brought to you by Quizilla

2004-09-21T03:38:00.000-07:00

it's too late.

akala ko maaabutan ko pa siya. kung binilisan ko sana kanina, 'di sana naabutan ko siya. how stupid can i get?

2004-09-20T03:37:00.000-07:00

forged liberation.

i finally overcame all my fears and stood still. maybe it's because of the fact that it was fate that kind of made all things go on well today. i thought that today, i won't be able to take a glimpse of the morning sun. people will shower their wraths at me. but now it seems like the world just turned itself inside out. sugoi.

hontou ni. i never really thought that i'd be able to get out of these predicaments figuratively 'alive'. now it seems like God really does love me. i love Him too. he rocks.

but he won't let me escape the agony of doing homeworks (and not to mention the agony of studying for tomorrow's quizzes). i still have to study in geometry, chemistry, trigonometry... so basically, i have to study almost all the major subjects.

joyce let me pass off her anger today. kudos to you, sweetheart. you're the best.

2004-09-19T03:36:00.000-07:00

HINDI NA KITA MAHAL!

Naranasan mo na bang masabihan nyan??? Kung OO ang sagot mo, pwes! alam mo ba na out of 10 people na nagsabi nyan 5 ang nagsasabi ng totoo?? yes! meaning 5 ang sinungaling! Kasi, minsan maraming dahilan kung bakit nasasabi yan... iSiPin MO ito.. Nasasabi ang linyang yan sa mga sitwasyon gaya ng.. 1. NAGUGULUHAN = ito ung mga taong nasa isang relasyon pgktapos eh may iba pang mahal na iba.. kailangan nilang mapaniwala ang sarili na hindi na hindi na nila mahal ung isa para, mahalin naman ung isa pa. (HALIMBAWA: im sori may iba na kong mahal, HINDI NA KITA MAHAL) pero echos! ang totoo di ka naman syur kung sino pa talga sa kanila ang matimbang... gets mo? (kung hindi kawawa ka naman..=) 2. MASAMA ANG LOOB = eto naman ung mga taong katatapos lng hiwalayan o nagawan ng di maganda sa isang relasyon. (HALIMBAWA: bakit nya nagawa sakin toh! HINDI KO NA SYA MAHAL!) pero ay naku dala lng yan ng sama ng loob mo..sige hinga ng malalim..tulog ng mahimbing.. paggising mo bukas naku...sya na naman ang naalala mo..(miz mo noh? =) 3. BASTED = as in ayaw nya daw sayo.. PARE OKEI KA LNG? (SAGOT: okei lng ako pre, wala na un hindi ko na rin sya mahal) uyyy pa-macho epek.. SISTER OKEI KA LNG? (SAGOT: yuh im okei, as in hindi ko na sya mahal noh?!) ows? go gurl! 4. LIHIM NA PAG-IBIG= eto naman ung mga taong ayaw ipaalam sa kanilang minamahal ang totoo, para lang mapagtakpan ang nararamdaman nila, lalo na't binubuking na sila.. (HALIMBAWA: Hindi ko sya mahal ah, friend lng ang turing ko sa kanya.) ay naku! yan din sinabi ni jolina kay marvin! 5. PA-I WILL SURVIVE epek = eto ang mga taong gusto ng kumawala sa hawla ng alala ng taong minamahal..(HALIMBAWA: pagod na ko..from now on, kakalimutan ko na sya, hindi ko na sya mahal! smart na ko ngayon, i will survive!) ...hehe sino ka? si kris aquino?? 5. TAAS NG PRIDE = eto ung mga taong di nila maamin sa sarili nila na mahal nila ang isang person kc nga malayo sa standard nila ung gurl/guy or lets say may ibang dahilan..pero nainlab sila. (HALIMBAWA: yun? hindi ko sya mahal noh. ako pa kilala nyo ko) sabay Naka cross ang mga fingers ng kanilang hands and feet! 6. TAKOT = eto ung mga taong dahil ilang beses na nasaktan sa larangan ng pag ibig, eh ayaw ng magmahal kahit na mahal naman talga nila ang isang taong nagmamahal sa kanila..(HALIMBAWA: ayaw ko ng masaktan ulit...hindi kita mahal.) ..o tapos? hehe 7. PAGHIHIGANTI = eto naman ung mga taong binabalikan matapos ng hiwalayan...syempre sobra nga naman sila nasaktan kaya sasabihan nya ng "MASYADO AKONG NASAKTAN SA MGA NANGYARI, HIND NA KITA MAHAL" ...o loko bagay sayo! maraming dahilan, maraming paraan para sabihin natin ito .. pero sana, sa susunod na sabihin mo sa kanyang hindi mo na sya mahal .. eh ung totoo na. Yung kaya mo na, yung sigurado ka, at un talga ang nararamdaman mo.. mahirap na.. Paano kung mawala pa sya?... Paano kung mahal ka pa talaga nya?.. Paano na kung mahal ka nya... Paano Kung mahal ka rin nya at mahal mo pa rin sya. At sa ibang taong makakaranas naman neto.. pag sinabihan ka ng HINDI NA KITA MAHAL! / HINDI KITA MAHAL! chin up! and say... STYLE MO BULOK! LIARS GO TO HELL!!!

2004-09-18T03:41:00.000-07:00

recurring twist of fate?

i've finally allowed myself to express my feelings well, and i can now say that i feel unwell today. i feel like a total goner. but then again, the sight of my mOoNcAkE_xXii relieved all my pains...

mestiza, chubby, curly-haired, browned-eyed. this is is how people described my mOoNcAkE_xXii's "special someone". it kind of hurt, knowing that i don't stand a chance against the lucky woman. i was actually surprised by the fact that i never gave a damn about it.. :'( they were seen together daw in that fucking place called "Legarda:". *sigh*. that's it. all i can do is sigh about the matter.

again, we were in the same train and same time. my friend insisted that we make an agressive approach to him. i said no. i'm not that desperate. and besides... all that matters is alam kong nandyan lang siya. nasa iisang LRT lang kami. ang cute nga 'non, eh.

best word to describe him as of today: a slowpoke. bumagal siya maglakad ngayon... i wonder why...

2004-09-18T03:35:00.000-07:00

implausible rhapsody.

making decisions for me can be resembled as a circumstance in which i must choose between dying painfully and living my life in a "living hell". and i just made an awful decision yesterday. a decision that could've changed the course of things between my three other friends and the three of us. (big bro, tween)

i feel so ashamed. if only i could've decided for myself. if only i could've relished the moment to think of the consequences ahead of my slapdash actions. if only, for a moment, i could've just kept my mouth shut from saying things that aren't really supposed to be indicated to someone of higher authority than me. then things would've changed its course from worse to better.

i don't know what to do or who to trust anymore. i feel like a total loser. stop bringing me all these predicaments. i just don't know how to crack all these up. yamete kudasai.

You are the Tower card. The Tower represents a
sudden, drastic change. This change can be
incredibly freeing. It can be a change in the
way you think, or a change in environment. The
physical body may be healed of a long illness
in a seemingly miraculous way. Dramatic change
may lead you into a completely different career
or lifestyle. On the negative side of things,
you may suddenly lose your fortune or have an
experience that shatters your sense of
identity. The Tower that crumbles under the
lightning bolt is the physical and may be
indicative of some aspect of your physical
world. But as the Tower crumbles it reveals a
sturdier foundation, something which perhaps
you did not expect but which, nevertheless,
arrives fully formed and strong into your life.
Image from: The Ibis Tarot deck
http://www.astroamerica.com/t-ibis.html

Which Tarot Card Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

2004-09-14T03:33:00.000-07:00

false invigoration.

i've finally decided to stop being so pessimistic about life and just go with the flow. sulking all day won't do me any good, anyway. kukulubot lang mukha ko. then my gReEn LaNtErN won't even dare look at me twice anymore.

our SD was really irritating. imagine... we're going to have to spend Php 16,000 only for the materials. and we're going to have to avail of them in ateneo.

fuck, right? and i think i just blurted out that i won't be pessimistic anymore.

i saw my gReEn LaNtErN a while ago, talking to some girls outside "the room". then my big kuya angge talked to him. i can't imagine they'd be that close only after a day of babbling about the issue of "anything that's too much can be bad for you -- even veggies." i wish i had the guts to joke around with him, though.

i listened to our chem class and understood the whole of it. even in trigonometry and CL. but not in geometry. i listened, yet gained nothing. stupid little cerebellum.

i miss hanging around with my old pals na. can't believe i'm hangin' out with them no more. just the fact that they still consider me as their close friend makes me want to 'fess up all my sins in the nearest parish. but then again, i won't literally show them how i really feel for them...

schoolworks, schoolworks. when will my sufferings end? moreover... will this suffering end...?

You're the sad smile,the one that regrets nearly
everything and is constantly wondering about
what could have been.You're not happy with your
situation and usually blame yourself because of
the bad things that have happened.Cheer up.

What Kind of Smile are You?
brought to you by Quizilla [i'm indeed a sad smile, and i agree to that.]

2004-09-13T15:29:00.000-07:00

queer.

now i'm going to list down everything that happened... i really don't feel like doing anything today rather than sleep and study... (groan...)

THINGS...

1. discussed some SD defense proposals... checked out the available materials for our experiment in the science lab...

2. i saw my gReEn LaNtErN a while ago... in micheau's room... cute.... :-)

3. napagalitan ako kanina ng teacher... i feel so ashamed of myself... i wanted to say sorry but didn't know how to phrase it wihout incurring her anger... :-(

4. we made "almost perfect shirts" for our 'kada' a while ago... cool... :-)

5. god really loves me... akala namin pinatawag kaming lahat kasi she was going to pelt us with sermons about the "wonderpants" thing... hindi pala... sa mga "cheering chicks" pala yun...

6. i didn't eat recess, lunch and dinner that much... i feel like fasting today without any reason whatsoever...

7. cool nung layout ng Pauleen. of course... joycee was one of the ones who made that beautiful layout's presence possible. go, joyce!

8. filipino subject: "mga tayutay"...

9. the skies were unusually dark (yes... literally REALLY DARK) only at around 5:00 pm... then joycee told us about something WE have to solve... (can't say anything else other than that...)

10. again, i saw my gReEn LaNtErN
song...

I Do (Cherish You) - 98 Degrees

All I am, all I'll be Everything in this world All that I'll ever need Is in your eyes Shining at me When you smile I can feel All my passion unfolding Your hand brushes mine And a thousand sensations Seduce me 'cause I Chorus I do cherish you For the rest of my life You don't have to think twice I will love you still >From the depths of my soul It's beyond my control I've waited so long to say this to you If you're asking do I love you this much I do In my world, before you I lived outside my emotions Didn't know where I was going 'Till that day I found you How you opened my life To a new paradise In a world torn by change Still with all my heart 'Till my dying day Chorus

2004-09-10T19:09:00.000-07:00

havoc.

finally overcoming the frustration of being "defeated" yesterday, i thought that a little unwinding would do me some good today. after all, i shouldn't stay within the shadows of mortification, right? so i've finally decided to hop into joyce's house.

bumping into jocelyn was a very nice thing. ang sarap nya kayang kasama... ^_^; we even got lost on our way back SPUQ from joycee's residence (only to find out that she's not yet home from the debate), burning in the scorching heat of the afternoon sun. andami ngang tumitingin na mga "ero" samin eh... meaning? "tubero, karpintero, sapatero, barbero"... you name it.

wait. let me fuck those "cheaters" from the debate first. we lost because of them. argh.

czaren, joyce, jocelyn, jam, zchy and i had so much fun a while ago while literally manufacturing "perfect shirts" for our Entrepreneurial Fair, though zchy's still in this certain "predicament" while jam, jocelyn, czaren and i had this frustration of rubbing off paint from our hands. joyce did the pyloxing of the shirts. it was really awesome...

... we even called "my little bro" just to piss her off or something... fortunately, she was good enough to just let those things we just said to her slip off.

we even made her a cheer: "ALYSSA!" "CLARIANE!" "LIBUIT!" "CALANOC!" (with matching choreography.)

mwahahaa. i even took home czaren's chem homework. cool.

i don't know how or why... but i feel so loopy today...

to my "quantum".

the first time i had aid my eyes on you, the darkness of my existence and the malice of my heart melted.

you look at me, and i see through your stare a plot that delights my very senses until i can no longer breathe.

how the sand of time never tarnishes the beauty of your complexion... let me look upon it everyday.

splendid you are to me in your perfection, that i can no longer bare myself to the world in which i stand without you by my side.

how i long to touch and caress your sweet, soft skin of ivory that bathes me with the usual temptation when i am near.

you are sole mine, and the plot of your existence divided into the eyes of others. yet again, you live untrapped within my jealous heart.

i share you with no one. let them look upon you only to realize that it is i who had captured you in perfect reflection.

you tormented me with your features, i die in anxiety to merely scan the structure of your body.

how it is i love you and despise you when you are no reality to me, than the ill ink of darkness of my closed eyes.

i fear you are beyond my grasp, a page from a broken dream.

yet how i cling to your crumpled image upon my fist...

Adopt Your Own Emo Kid!

Which Mysterious Death will be Yours?
Name/username
Age
Gender
Favorite Color
Usual Hangout
Favorite Food
You will die while	riding in a vehicle other than your own.
Who will find your body?	The police.
You will be wearing	your normal, everyday attire.
And the Mysterious Cause...	spontaneous combustion.

This Quiz by cutelilangelx - Taken 20210 Times.